Ashamed, just ashamed!!!

I am really ashamed to have gone so long and not posted here. Between keeping up with "regular" stuff, posting on facebook on both my wall and the one for our trip to Asia, I have neglected blogging. OK, enough excuses!! Since a picture's worth a thousand words, here's my updates (mostly) pictorially:

October -

This is Joanna and me with four new sweet Chinese friends, as we entered Long Sha Park, a beautiful park across the road from the University. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful the trip was, how we saw God move in amazing ways and how our lives are changed forever because of this trip. Praise - while we were there Joanna realized she had never surrendered her life to the LORD fully and made that decision to trust Him for her salvation and her future! Thanks to all who helped make it possible!!

Also in October (after we returned) we continued our Friday afternoon "Fun Days" with our homeschool friends and one afternoon had a cookout afterward, followed by a small fire with roasted marshmallows. Fall Fun!

NOVEMBER:
Emma and Ethan worked on several art and history projects, and we did our annual "Thankful tree" from construction paper leaves where each day they write at least one thing for which they are thankful and then on Thanksgiving Day the leaves "fall down" (aka get taken off the door :)!) and are used to decorate each plate at Gran's for the big turkey meal!

DECEMBER:
We have had a busy month (like everyone else) but lots of fun! This past weekend we took most of the older children from our "Friday" homeschool group to visit the Nursing Home to hand out cards, after playing in the afternoon and then eating homemade pizza. Saturday we watched Katy dance in competition at NCSU (pics to folow from Russ) and then went to see the lights at Lake Myra . Yesterday we celebrated Joanna's BDay with family, and now you are up to date ! I'll try to do better keeping up with blogging...maybe it'll be one of my New Year's "Revolutions" !

Go Away and Tell - Lesson 2

Just a matter of a few days left, lots of laundry being folded at my house; pantry, fridge and freezer stocked with individual homemade meals that can be easily heated up; carry-on and backpack partially packed; visa, passport and etickets printed and ready; weighing my check-in bag as I go due to the number of books I'm taking; calendar is coded with exact directions to each child's destination; lots done and lots more to do, especially to leave the house in order. Today I noticed a few windows that needed washing, too, but wonder if time will allow that! All these preparations are for my family and I, but what am I doing to get my soul in order to serve those I will meet? What am I doing to clean and organize my heart, what preparations am I making to share the gospel through a cultural and language barrier? Which is the most important preparation? Yep, you know it as well as I do. And to prepare my heart, to be a cleansed vessel fully filled with the Holy Spirit, I have to stop all this "doing" and "Be still" and know the Lord God personally, as my best friend, my redeemer, my creator, my comforter, my strength, my wisdom, my everything. And to listen, really, really listen, to Him I have to clean out my own barriers, the "dirty windows" of my soul. It's not a cultural or language barrier but the sin barrier that I keep muddying back up onto my heart. Miss Bertha Smith used to ask "Have you got all your sins confessed up to date?" I can still hear those words in her powerful Southern accent, straight to your heart (at almost 90 she said she didn't have enough time left to tiptoe around things and nothing was as important as having your sins confessed and laid on the cross). She was right and I know it. She had a tremendous impact not only on the Chinese people she served, taught and loved for over 40 years but on the Americans she came home to teach. And the reason she did? She understood the importance of one thing - laying those sins on the promise of Christ's death so that He could use any of us at any time, anywhere for anything that He willed; dying to our own sinful self so that HE could live through us. May I prepare diligently this week in the one thing that matters. May the windows of my soul be clean, even if I don't have time for those in my house.

Go Away and Tell !

In less than two weeks, Lord willing, my oldest daughter and I will be on the continent of Asia, literally half-way around the world from home. I've traveled to lots of countries back in my "former life" but have never been so far away from my family and honestly it's a bit more disconcerting than I had expected. As much as my heart is aching to make sure every person in every country hears the glorious story of how very much they are loved and the hope that the story brings, it's still hard to travel that far away from loved ones, even only for a few days. There are several details about our travel arrangements that won't be able to be finalized until very close to our arrival time, but somehow that's not bothering me. I truly feel that if we have to take the 22 hour train ride instead of the 12 hour one, there will be a reason that the Lord in His wisdom and Providence knows, and He will give me the stamina to endure it after a 15 hour plane ride immediately preceding the train. If luggage is lost, planes are delayed, food is inedible, that's OK with me, too, knowing that these are the kind of "normal" things that happen in travel and again, the Lord orchestrates even the tiniest details. So you'd think I had it all under control, huh? wrong. It's funny, but what I find myself wondering/fretting over are things like what if I forget to stock a needed food item for my family, what if they forget on which field the baseball game is, or what if they forget how to heat the frozen casseroles I've left them, etc., like they are the ones that will be in a totally foreign country! Stupid, huh?? Especially when you consider that my dear hubby is not only adequate with such things as cooking but actually vastly exceeds my ability! So why do I fret over these things? I think it's because I like fretting over them. Somehow I have equated this with loving them, and I realized tonight that is so wrong! My love for them causes me to want to serve them, but my serving them is not the same as loving them. Maybe this is just lesson number one of more than a thousand lessons I will learn from this experience.
If you can pray, please do.
Pray for my holiness in Christ ( a desperate need if I am to be a usable vessel),
my willingness to be used in each and every situation for HIS glory no matter how tired or physically weak,
for openness to the gospel by those we meet,
for my family to be safe back here,
for me to know how to encourage Americans who live for years away from their loved ones,
for my eyes to be opened to the vast needs around us, and
my words to be HIS and not my own.
Thanks so very much and watch here and on our facebook site for updates as we travel whenever we have access to internet.
Thank you LORD for your great and mighty deeds, your loving mercy and provision, your hope of redemption for each and every precious soul.....

A New 9/11 Lesson - "Why didn't anybody tell them?"

A few days ago my seven year-old asked me "What's Flight 93?" He evidently had heard it mentioned on a news show the evening before and was curious. That led into a discussion about Sept. 11th, the courage of those on Flight 93, and I was a bit surprised at how much he knew. "Oh, like when those men crashed the planes into the twin Empire State buildings?" (Yes, we stopped and had a brief NYC geography and architectural lesson :) right then). As I explained a little (on what I thought was a 7 year-old level to be honest but not to scare him) he interrupted me with this question "How did they get on the planes to hijack them if they weren't Americans?" Hmmm...short answer to him, "Well, they were living in America as visitors". Then he looked at me with very wide, serious, tear-filled eyes and asked, "Then why didn't anybody tell them, Mommy?" I saw his heart breaking and being puzzled I said, "Tell them what, honey?" "Tell them that they didn't need to kill people to get to heaven, that they could go there because Jesus loves them like he loves us." Ohhhhhh...... out of the mouths of babes! May I never forget the earnest heart break that he felt because "nobody" had told them. May I always remember that I can be that "nobody" if I let opportunities to share the love of Jesus slip away. May I never forget Sept. 11th and may I never forget the need for Christ, not condemnation, in every life.
How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!" -Romans 10:14-15

Old meets New

The older I get the more I find myself bursting out into an old gospel hymn that we sang when I was young. The same kind of song that for years I "scorned" as backward, overly emotional, embarrassingly old-fashioned. Maybe that's what happens as you get older, but for me it's more than just aging. Some of those old hymns that are ingrained in my brain cells have some absolutely fantastic Biblical truths, some uplifting words to make me shift my eyes from self to Savior, some depth of faith in tune that springs from pain and sorrow that has driven me back to the Loving Arms of our Creator. Yes, I also enjoy some of the newest praise, contemporary, celtic and other Christian songs, too, but it always comes back to which ones speak to the amazing, unspeakable, unfathomable love of Christ for one such as me. For He is the Lord of all, including songs, and especially the Lord of the heart from which all music spews.

Great explanation of Our Government

HERE is a video well worth the time, whether or not you studied Civics and/or Government in school.

Lessons Learned

For several Sundays we were so very blessed by great messages both in Sunday School and worship, which were really centered around not being "self righteous" but always relying solely on the cross of Christ for our actions and motivations. I'd love to tell you everything I learned and was convicted about, but I doubt if anyone would read all of it. Here's the "facebook status" version :)

Am I doing works for my own sake or truly for the glory of Christ?
Test 1 - Fellowship - do I only hang out with/be friendly with/pray for/etc. only those who look, talk, think the same as me? Am I embarrassed or judgmental when others who are different enter the church, my neighborhood, etc.? See Gal. 3:27-29; Matt. 9:9-13
Test 2 - Criticism/Disagreement - How do I react when others disagree with my beliefs, my actions, my "religious activities"? Do I take it personally or just long for them to know the redeeming hope and love of the Savior? do I feel like it's an affront to me or do I simply, lovingly ache for them to know the peace and salvation that Christ alone can give and give to anyone anywhere at any time? Gal. 3:25; Matt. 9:35-38
Test 3 - Test of Omission - Do I feel guilty/less of a Christian if I fail to do a certain task, ritual, etc.? Of course we suffer in our walk and growth if we don't pray or study the Bible, but do we do it to feel better about ourselves rather than do it to learn more of Christ Himself? Gal. 6:14

Oh, the depth of self-righteousness -
but praise GOD!!
HIS love and HIS sacrifice are even deeper!!
How do I know? Just look at the cross.......

Summer Reading

Since we do "traditional" school schedules, I try to get in some good reading during the summer but have struggled with it this year more than most. It seems there have been more demands on my time or maybe I'm just worse at time management? Anyway, here are a few I've read and hope to finish more before we start back mid-August.

Finished:
Robin Hood - Pyle - just for fun since I enjoyed it so much when I was younger ;) ! No Robin Hood story is nearly the level of Pyle's regarding dry humor, superior descriptions and excellent literary value.
Grace Abounding - Bunyon - third or fourth time around and still has so much to speak to me!
Narnia - With the children we've continued the Narnia series and are now almost finished with book number 5 "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" and hope to finish the series before school starts or shortly thereafter.
Something More - Catherine Marshall - an oldy but goody that I read as a teen but really only now understand most of it
Family Driven Faith and What He Must Be by Voddie Baucham - absolute must-reads for any parent!
The Shack - Young - a great read to get you to remember not to put GOD in our "boxes" and to remember that His unbelievable love for each of us is so much greater than any tragedy in life

What are your summer favorites?

"I CHOOSE TO PRAISE, NOT TO GRUMBLE"

The "Above Rubies" devotionals are so encouraging and yet convicting, that I really recommend you get them if you can. Even if you can't always read them, subscribe and read when you can. This old hymn was part of a recent devotion and I just had to share it here:

HYMN: FILL THOU MY LIFE

Fill Thou my life, O Lord my God,
In every part with praise,
That my whole being may proclaim
Thy being and Thy ways.

Not for the lip of praise alone,
Nor e'en the praising heart,
I ask, but for a life made up
Of praise in every part:

Praise in the common things of life,
Its goings out and in;
Praise in each duty and each deed,
However small and mean.

Fill every part of me with praise;
Let all my being speak
Of Thee and of Thy love, O Lord,
Poor though I be and weak.

So shall no part of day or night
From sacredness be free,
But all my life, in every step,
Be fellowship with Thee.
-Horatius Bonar

Faith Like Potatoes

A dear friend recommended the movie to me titled "Faith Like Potatoes". It's very good, and amazing because it is based on a true story. I won't spoil the plot but just say if you can rent or buy it, do so! As we sweat and toil clearing land, planting, weeding, watering, etc., I just can't imagine doing all that hard work while also worrying about potential life-threatening wars, racial and class tension, etc. swirling around you and your family. Hope you enjoy!! And go "plant some potatoes" :) (i.e. step out in faith for whatever God has called you to do!).

Asia, oh, Asia!!

For those who have known me a long time, you know I have had a heart for the millions, yes, millions, of lost in Asia. When I was 18 I had the privilege of attending a retreat of an amazing woman of God who had spent more than 40 years as a missionary to Asia during times of war, famine, and revival! On my first job, my best friend was from Vietnam and her grandparents had migrated from China to Vietnam to escape WWII only to be caught up in the Vietnam war. Later two of my dear friends spent a year in an orphanage in East Asia and I was able to "go" with them through prayer. Then my oldest daughter began to beg to learn Chinese, and through God's amazing "coincidences" we found a local Chinese language school that just "happened" to be starting classes for Americans at the time she began High School. That was topped off by our cousins leaving the Philippines after 30 years of service there and going into an East Asian country, allowing our daughter to go visit. Also during the past 10 years my hubby and I have prayed for a minority group in Southeast Asia, considered adoption (but were too old), sponsored a couple of people to go, been on two eloops for the minority group pray-ers, and had a couple in our church travel to Vietnam to work in orphanages and medical clinics. It has amazed me how God has allowed us to be part of HIS work there! And now, very unexpectedly, I too plan to go to Asia in October with my oldest daughter and several friends. We will stay on a University campus and work with students on their English skills. It will be a very short trip, but I know it will be both life-changing and rewarding beyond my imagination. God has been so very good to allow us this opportunity. Please pray for us, for the students that we will meet, for our health and travel safety, for Americans who are there teaching English. And take a few minutes to praise the Lord for technology that can be used for good as well as evil, can help us understand the vast need for the truth of the gospel message to be carried around the world and can tie us together in prayer in ways that weren't possible even a few years ago.

"Odd Combination"

A friend of mine told me recently that she loved me because I was such an "Odd Combination". I knew exactly what she meant and love her precisely because she is not so "odd" :) ! For instance, she loves (and is great at) cooking, baking, teaching all ages of her children, sewing, keeping a very clean and organized house, interior decorating, music, reading, crafts, etc., etc. She is a very classy and "together" stay-at-home homeschooling Mom. Her husband does all the outside work, home maintenance, etc. and they have a great marriage. This split of responsibilities works very well for them. She came over to visit on a day when I had spent the morning driving the tractor on the farm watering trees then came inside and finished homeschooling my children, topping it off with an "extra" reading from Narnia (we usually just save that for the family evening time). I had just finished Anna Karenina myself the day before, and my hubby and I were in the last chapter of "Family Driven Faith". She couldn't understand how I could speed read five books in one week as well as finish "Anna" (Thank you to my 8th grade teacher, Mrs. Ferguson!) and yet be happy driving a tractor :) ! I could never put together a formal dinner party, especially with 5 little ones under foot like she does, either. And yet we love each other and our time together. I love each aspect of my life, as she does hers, and with my hubby of 30 years, what works for us, well, it works well, and her marriage of 12 years works well for them, too! I think of two lighthouses that I have visited. One is on a rocky outcrop, and shines out from cliffs into the depths of the open sea; the other has weathered many hurricanes and shines into a shallow harbor with constantly shifting sands. My friend and I have to remember not to try to imitate each other but to use the talents and heart desires God has given us in the place he has placed us, to make the most of our marriages, our parenting and most of all our willingness to be lights to the dark world around us. And God is good enough to not only provide the light but to let us draw strength from each others' light as well!

Ready or not, here comes summer!

Most years we try to finish our school year by Memorial Day or at least the last day of May. Well, this isn't "most years" :) ! I'm still trying to decide how to finish things off with Ethan, but Emma will be finished with all her subjects within two weeks. Since Ethan wasn't really ready for phonics at the beginning of the year, we took our time because the last thing I wanted was to turn him off from reading. Since at this very minute he is sitting at the barstool reading "Fox and His Friends" by himself with only occasionally spelling a word he needs help with, I think it was worth the effort! Years ago I read "Better Late than Early" by Raymond and Dorothy Moore and it has been such a blessing to remember their wisdom and advice with this youngest child, especially.

The farm has taken many, many hours of our time but so far the trees are not just surviving but thriving - God is good!! In addition to the demands of 400 new "babies" we have had friends who've had human babies, several relatives pass away, my MIL taking chemo again, a wedding, and numerous family issues to deal with so I'm (sort of!!) OK with not being finished yet.

Today we spotted the hummingbirds at the feeder and after several questions about their migration, size/type of nest, etc., we sidetracked from usual routine and spent some time on the internet looking at pictures of and reading about hummingbirds. Natural Science!!! We love it!! Nothing better than good old curiosity and observation!

All this to say I think it's OK to not be on the "master schedule" (ahem.. actually MY master schedule is the one that I stress over!) because they are learning, growing, sharing, laughing and loving, whether "school" is out for the summer or not!

Our country song last week

Do you ever have times that you feel like you've stepped out of reality and into a bad country song? No, I didn't ride a train but last week our truck took out, my faithful wonderful old dog died (my youngest children weren't even born when we got her), my farm had problems with insect pests and dry, scorching heat (in April of all times!), my children had all kinds of problems, I had 10 children in the house for 3 days, I had two migraines (I've only had maybe 5 in my whole lifetime), it was my birthday (good) but also on my birthday was the 20th anniversary of finding out that my Mom had incurable cancer and 8th anniversary of losing a baby in my 4th month, and my hubby and I had a big spat. But this isn't a country song and there really is a lot of wonderful things from all that. Because we had that spat, my hubby and I took extra time this weekend to be together and had the most wonderful time together in a long time; the 10 children were here because their parents were at the hospital with a beautiful, healthy baby girl; my dog is no longer in pain; we learned a LLLLOTTTT about insect control and its importance; the youngest two had a blast riding on the back of the tractor and spraying the trees (and each other) with the water hose; and most of all we all have hope that no matter how bad things look, we have joy and hope and peace with our Savior with whom my Mom, Dad and unborn child have been waiting. God is good - all the time - even in country song weeks.

Why I Judge Others

I've been thinking a lot lately about how easily I judge others. For their lifestyles, their choices, their looks, basically anything about them that I can observe or hear about. It's so much easier to judge other people than to deal with the mess in my own heart. Yeah, mess. No matter how "together" or "mature" or even "spiritual" I may look, I know that in my heart is one big mess - no make that lots and lots of big messes! Mostly these things are centered around my self-centeredness (just count the times I've already written "I" or "me" already in this paragraph!). It's easy and comfortable and even self-gratifying to be judgmental of others. It's hard, painful and very gut-wrenching to judge my own heart. I think maybe I'll tie a mirror around my neck to remind me of who I should be judging. And maybe, just maybe, if I spend more time helping others I'll have less time to judge them.
Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Recitals and farming and baseball, oh my!!

Very busy lately and the next 2 weeks are going to be even crazier! Gran - rough week after chemo and she will begin daily radiation this week. Pray for her physical, emotional and spiritual state. Emma Kate - Dance recital in two weeks so extra practices this week, extra ones next week almost 55 minutes from home, and pictures next Saturday; piano recital in 4 weeks; Awanas awards in 3 weeks (she's trying to get all her Silver and Gold done in her 2nd book before then). Ethan - baseball practice, baseball pictures, baseball games, needs new cleats (outgrown the ones that are less than 6 months old - uggghhh!) and gray, not white, baseball pants which are nowhere to be found within an hour drive of here. [Note to self: Baseball is a WAY bigger commitment than soccer - remember this!!] Farm - most of the trees have budded out (Yippeee!!!) and are now ready to be bud pruned by hand. This means carefully cutting off about 8-10 buds x 400 trees = 2 little time 2 do 2 much work! Will be early mornings in the field for a few weeks. Then there's a few things called school work, laundry, vacuuming, being on call for a friend who's past due to have a baby, cooking, grass mowing, weed pulling, and .... LIFE! So if you see this blur drive past, or don't get any emails from me for a while, just hold onto your thoughts and remember what's happening on your end so we can catch up when June gets here and things slow down. In the meantime, shoot me an email or blog post so I won't lose track of you if I don't see you. Happy Spring :) !!

Blessings at church

We are truly blessed every Sunday with the wonderful teaching at our church. My husband said a few months ago that he felt like when we left the church he had just had a huge steak meal where he had been so used to milky baby food for so many years. Now that doesn't mean we've never had good Biblical teaching before, but just not so deep and consistent as now. Nuggets from last week:
Is. 53 passage in Sunday School - 1) Jesus is the propitiation for us, not the expiation - (Rom. 3:25, 1 John 2:2) HE paid the price for our sin in full, we are not/will never be punished for our sin; we are viewed by God as if we were totally sinless, had never and will never sin because when He looks He sees His Son's righteousness in place of our sinful soul. Doesn't this just knock your socks off??! WHY would a Holy, blameless Son of God die in agony for a wicked selfish full-of-sin sinner like me? One who not only sinned grossly before I accepted His salvation but can't even go a day, sometimes not even a minute, without sinning even after I try to comprehend His ultimate mercy and love and sacrifice! Unbelievable, but yet true (Rom 7:14-25).
2) Jesus chose to die. He who created the world as the Father spoke it into being (John 1:3) , knowing the world He created would turn its back on Him, knowing He would be mocked and flogged and spat upon and rejected and tortured and hung on a cross for people who can't even comprehend His love (1 John 4:10) and mercy - He chose the cross anyway. For me...!
3) Yes, we will have troubles in this world (John 16:33). It is a fallen, sinful world full of fallen, sinful sinners. But our troubles are never punishment for our sins. They may be consequences of them, but not punishment from God (Is. 53:5-6). The only way to rid the world of sin would be to wipe it (including all of us) out completely, but God couldn't do that because it would be against His very nature of love and mercy (Ps. 86:15). But He can't allow us as sinners to live with Him either because HE is Justice (Ps. 7:11). So the only choice is to die in our place. The only choice for Him, the only Way for us (John 14:6), to be covered by His righteousness.
4) We cannot sin against another human being. We can hurt them, we can cause them suffering and pain and even death by our choices but the only way to sin against someone in the real sense of sinning is to rebel against their sinless being, and there is only One who is sinless. "Against you and you only have I sinned" the Psalmist so aptly says (Ps. 51). This is eye opening for me. No one on this earth can sin against me because I am not sinless myself. They can hurt me, they can cause me grief or pain or heartache or misery or poverty but they cannot sin against me, and I cannot sin against them. Every sin I commit is against my God and my Savior alone, the same one who chose to die for me, who chooses to love me in spite of my wicked soul. Oh, to live every moment aware of the fact that it is all about HIM, all for HIM, all sustained by HIM, all for His glory or for nothing. If I could just remember that how much easier not to sin against Him. Oh, to love Him more, to do as He has said in His Word, to think on HIM, to strive to truly worship Him. That would be a life worth living.
Praise be to God for His servants who have so clearly divided His word of truth.

Long overdue Update

My blogging is about like my library books these days - way past time to turn them in!! :) Fortunately, I renew the books online and the blog police don't come get me when I go so long without posting!
Anyway, here's what's going on:
1 - Joanna and Alex Carr are engaged!! Last weekend at the beach he proposed and we got to meet his parents and grandparents who drove all the way up from Alabama just to be there to celebrate. They've now set the date for Aug. 15th at 2pm and we are already into wedding planning mode!
2 - Uncle Carl and I got 44 more trees planted last week right before some very long, heavy rains. And today (Sunday, 3/29) we saw the first green budding leaves on three different varieties!! Wooohooo!! I can't begin to describe how beautiful those little green buds look to us!
3 - School was pretty good last week, we got through a lot of the basics but not really any "extras" like field trips or art projects. However, on Wednesday Ethan began the school day by picking up a poem book of Emma's and reading a poem to me with very little help. He then read 4 or 5 "Rocket Readers" (Level 1) and begged for me to go find Level 2 readers. (Thanks, Karen W for these - they have been great!) All of a sudden I have a reader on my hands - a glorious day for any Mom who has dealt with a very reluctant reader!
4 - Last night we had a "Blurt" Blast and then followed it up with a Pictionary contest after we all shared a meal of homemade lasagna, tomato/basil bread, salads and key lime and chocolate pie (not homemade!) for dessert. All 6 of our children (remember that Katy is now my daughter, too, Shelley!) plus my soon-to-be-son were here and I felt very, very blessed to have such a great time with all of us together. I thought of my dear friends who have family around them except for a son who is overseas serving our country and what a gap that leaves in the "family circle" and said a prayer for these brave young men and their Moms who sorely miss them.
Have a great week and I will try to do better about updating the blog.

To my friends....

Well, "Next week" came and went and wasn't what we had hoped for but was still filled with blessings and hope amidst sickness, snow, appliance problems, job stress for D, and other "stuff". So we will leave it where it belongs - behind us :) !

On another note, I have lots of friends that mean so much to me that sometimes I wish I knew a great way to express my gratitude. Some of you challenge me to a higher walk, some encourage me in the lows, some make me smile, but most of you do all of these at one time or another. Lots of people have written poems and essays and flowery cards about friendship, but it's like any deep relationship, no language has yet been written to truly express what's felt in our hearts. If we took all the words of appreciation and gratitude and emotion that we have said to or about our friends they still wouldn't give a glimmer of the truth. So to my friends, old and new, young and old, near and far.......




That's my heart's gratitude to you for your friendship. Not a blank, but a feeling too big and strong and important to confine to words, or images. You are loved, and appreciated, and maybe sometime I will try to find a better way to express it, but today I feel totally inadequate to even try to confine it to a blog. Friendship is a joyous and amazing thing and I am honored to call you my friend.

Next week.....

School: We studied George Washington on Monday (his BDay was Sunday and we study each on his birthday, not on "President's Day") and did some games about "Truth versus Fiction" concerning that great man. We also celebrated Handel's BDay by listening to the "Hallelejuh Chorus" on youtube while we were eating lunch. Tuesday we admired the works of one of my most favorite artists, Winslow Homer (I have two prints in my living room by him which tells you how much I like his artwork!). We've also done the "normal" reading, phonics, math, etc. Social Studies has moved us over to The Netherlands and my daughter is longing to wear wooden shoes and grow tulips :) ! Science has included a new unit about diseases and health and we are planning a trip to both a Health Clinic and a Dairy Farm (to see how they sanitize the containers, etc.) ... Maybe we will get a chance to go next week....

Books: I am almost finished with "In God's Underground" by Richard Wurmbrand. It never ceases to amaze me how a book about one subject can truly challenge you in a totally different area of your life. Here is a wonderfully amazing story of how one man stayed true to Christ in unthinkable conditions, and it really challenged me to do more to stand up for my faith and my Savior. I'm really ashamed of the fact that my life is so easy compared to his and that I spend so little of it in true fellowship with the One who Loves me most. I'll try to do better next week....

Farm: We have struggled to keep the remaining trees healthy with temps below freezing, a gas heater that sputters out on us in the middle of the night (it's like having a baby in the house, except you have to go outside in freezing temps to check on it in the middle of the night :) !) and we are certainly ready to finish getting them in the ground. Unfortunately rainy weather on Friday and Saturday will keep us from doing so this weekend. Maybe next week....

Work: D's company had another series of layoffs, and although he still has a job he now has about 7 people's responsibilities to do, which is causing him to work many long, long hours and weekends. We're thankful for the job but personally I'm worried that all the stress is going to wear on his health. Maybe next week will be better :) !

I'll let you know how things go - "next week" always looks better!

CS Lewis Quote

Our Sunday School teacher read this quote during our class this morning. We were reading from the New Testament and discussing the need for Christians to show true, genuine, Christ-like love for each other and for our fellowmen. As an admirer of both CS Lewis and good quotes, I just had to share it here with you:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

-C.S. Lewis

When death comes knocking...

I have not lost a husband so I cannot tell you what that pain is like. I have not lost a grown child, so I cannot share that pain with you either. And although I have watched 4 precious grandparents, numerous aunts and uncles and cousins, both my parents, my Father-in-law, and three of our own unborn children die, I cannot share exactly whatever it is you feel. For just as every person is unique, every relationship is unique and therefore every pain of separation is different. My sister- and brother-in-law are going through different kinds of grieving for the untimely accidental death of my niece. They both lost a daughter. They both lost the same daughter. They shared more memories of her than anyone else, but they had different relationships with her and so, of course, are grieving differently.
But for all the differences of people and feelings and memories there is a common thread that we all share when we lose a loved one. A common denominator of pain - deep, throbbing, stabbing pain in our hearts and souls. Through the many funerals where I have stood in line and received hugs and words I could tell you some really dumb things not to say, but I have yet to find the perfect thing to say. Because grief is not shared in words, it's shared in hearts. Grief binds us together because although some grieve deeper and longer and we all grieve differently, the fact remains that we all know that the pain of death is one of the worst pains of all. And somehow the fact that we have others sharing our pain does lighten the load of it a little.
And when we share that pain on our knees with the One who bears all pain of every kind for us, who loves us with a love so great that our aching hearts can never begin to understand it, who carries us in His loving arms and whispers directly into our souls that He is, has been and always will be able to comfort us, our grief is a grief of hope. Of ultimate joy. Of brightness of tomorrow. And that makes an eternity of difference. "Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, blessings are mine with ten thousand beside. " His faithfulness is truly great. His love and comfort are indescribable, and yet it is unthinkable what grief would be like without Him. Great is thy faithfulness, O God My Father, especially when I am grieving.

In School This Week

We have had several "field days" so far this week. My children have learned:
1 - Horticulture - how to properly plant and water in pecan trees; differences in varieties of trees; proper depth for planting; how to mulch, etc....
2 - Ornithology - found a killdeer nest, marked the location so as not to disturb it, and watching daily for any signs of eggs! Also saw two geese fly over flanking a wounded one - very amazing to see first hand!
3 - Agronomy - the study of soil composition and water tables; decomposition - "Wet clay from down in the hole stinks really bad, Mom! Why??"
4 - Team Teaching - working together to be more efficient and enjoyable
5 - Perseverance - (planting 400+ trees one at a time will do that!!)
6 - Meteorology - they have learned to listen to weather forecasts, study the local conditions and make decisions about how percentages really work (10-20% chance of rain means go ahead and do what you have planned :) !)
7 - Entomology - found several interesting live millipedes and exoskeletons from other "critters" from last summer; chased some grasshoppers; discovered that it only takes 36 warm hours before the local gnats have emerged!
8 - Being neighborly and friendly - a relative and a neighbor both have spent part of the week helping us plant (without any pay) just because they are good friends/neighbors!
9 - Perseverance - did I mention this already??
10 - Hard work is really, really hard work, but is lots more fun when doing it with people you love!

May This Day Be a Prayer to You, O Jesus

As I open my eyes this morning,
Let me praise you for sunlight, breath, eyes to see.
As I rise slowly out of bed,
Let me praise you for a beating heart, legs and feet to walk.
As I listen to my children waking,
Let me praise you for ears to hear their voices.
As I see their sleepy faces,
Let me lift my very being to you in praise for each one.
As I fix their meals,
Let me be truly grateful for You have provided.
As I wipe up messes,
Let me praise you for children healthy enough to make them.
As I help the young ones to dress,
Let me praise you for your clothing of righteousness.
As I do the dishes,
Let my heart rejoice to know that you are the Living Water.
As I finish the laundry,
Let me never forget that you have washed me clean of my sins.
As I pick up toys,
May I be reminded of the many times you pick up the broken pieces of my sinful life.
As I put things away,
May I never forget that you have put away all my sins on the cross.
As I tuck the precious ones into bed,
May I rejoice that I have rest in You and You alone, O Lord. Forever and ever. Amen.

Missionary Monday

I'm ashamed that I have not been good at posting my "Missionary Mondays" for a while. And much more than that, I'm ashamed that I haven't prayed for these dear, precious people as much as I should have lately either. So here's a new resolution just in time for New Years (Chinese New Years ;) that is). Won't you join me in praying with Audrey for the lost in Japan? If you think they do not feel a spiritual void, just look at the outpouring of prayers here and know that each one is written by an anxious soul that yearns to know peace and comfort that only the Truth of Jesus Christ as Messiah can give them.

Pray that there will be workers for the harvest, and that hearts of the hearers will be open.

Then move your heart and mind half-way around the world to Africa where Jena has recently (and quite abruptly) been moved to another location. Pray for a smooth transition and that she would make friends and have doors opened to her quickly so that she can make the best use of her time there. And pray that each of us, each moment of each day, will have the eyes and heart of Jesus for the lost souls around us right here at home.
As Audrey recently reminded me through her blog ---
"How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher?" Romans 10:14

Tribute to Kay Yow

This is the best way to pay tribute to someone - let them say what's important in their own words. Here's to you, Kay, and the testimony you lived as well as the one you left behind --

Please go HERE to view her tape that she had shown at her funeral.

Fun in School This Week

Monday we took a few minutes to read "The Great Race: The Story of the Chinese Zodiac", discussed Chinese New Year, found China on the maps and globe, talked about oxen and had Chinese stir-fry for dinner. Tuesday was Mozart's birthday but with other pressing matters we actually listened to his music while we did school on Wednesday. The children also drew pictures of him and we talked about what life was like in Europe during the late 1700s when he was alive and talked about what it would be like to be composing music by the age of five. This worked very well with the fact that this week we "left" Australia behind in Social Studies and traveled over to Europe, beginning with Switzerland. Since my oldest son and daughter went through a tip of Switzerland this summer we looked at some of their pictures online. Thursday night's meal is fondue with homemade Zopf (with wheat flour instead of white - we will see ;)!) and a meat stew (not pork neck as recommended, but beef stew - I'm not very advernturous with food) and anise cookies for dessert. We have really traveled the world and through time this week )!

Blessed be the tie that binds....

Today I was sifting through some old family photos looking for one to re-scan for a cousin who wants to use it in a book about "Mountain Kinfolk". You know what looking through photos does to you, whether they are 50 days or 50 years old. Memories light the corners of my mind.... OK, I promise not to sing! So here's a favorite photo of my "Pop" who most definitely set the moon in the sky just for me when I was about 3. As I thought about Pop and his wonderful sense of humor I remembered something funny he said one time. He told me that when he died he didn't want any of the men to have to wear ties. He said he never could understand how anyone could sing "Blessed be the tie that binds" when that's all ties did - bind you up and strangle you! So he wanted no ties, and he wanted everyone to wear white or bright colors because he just knew that when he went to heaven nobody would be wearing dark colors and he wanted us to think about that. After he died, my Grandmother carried out all his wishes for his funeral, which he had told her in detail. He had the choir sing "When the Roll is Called Up Yonder" and.... yep...as the family was ready to leave for the graveside he had them sing.... "Blessed be the tie that binds"! Wanted us to remember the real meaning of the words, and it made me smile on a day when my heart was breaking. His memory still makes me smile.

Snow Days!!

Monday night we made snowflakes from paper and taped the windows full of them. Sure enough, Tuesday morning they had company! Like everyone else in this part of the country we have thoroughly enjoyed our 4+ inches of snow, but unlike everyone else I have no pictures of this event (camera has been broken). So use your imagination to place my 10yo and 6yo outside building a snowman, having snowball fights, making snow cream, and loving the sled being pulled behind the 4-wheeler around the paths and fields, along with 3 neighbor children. What a blast!!

Here's one of my childrens' favorite snow pictures since I don't have any of us ----

Happy Book Reading Day

Lately I have been in the mode of "get it done, we have to finish these textbooks, don't skip a subject" etc. Every September and January I do this. Hit hard the "master plan" for S-C-H-O-O-L!!! Then the kids and I start to dread each day, things get frustrating, and I dig in my heals even harder that we must STICK TO THE SCHEDULE! My son jolted me back into reality last Sunday when I overheard him telling his SS teacher, "Yes, we homeschool but I don't like school". Ouch. Big fat Ouch. So I have taken a breath, stepped back and rethought the week. I know how to do this - Im the one who tells new homeschoolers all the time to make sure their children learn to love learning, not just learn to go through the motions of school. So Monday we did the "basics" of reading and math early in the morning before our friends came to play. Then the children just played. Knights, spies, kings and queens, race car drivers, mothers and fathers, Bible heroes and astronauts were all play-acted. Lessons were learned in getting along with others, being courteous of babies, sharing, listening. Who has to have textbooks?

Tuesday I dubbed "Happy Book Reading Day". Since the time to read all the books I want to share with my children never seems to appear out of thin air like I wish, I decided to make this day a day when the children could share their reading skills with each other, as well as being read to by me. We made a library run (checked out 42 books!!!), and began to have a book celebration. I checked out numerous old picture book favorites like "Blueberries for Sal", "Moon Bear", "Joseph Had a Little Overcoat", "Harry the Dirty Dog", "Mufaro's Beautiful Daughters", "Lyle the Crocodile", "The Story about Ping", and numerous others. We checked out small chapter books like three of the Trailblazer books by Dave & Netta Jackson and "Treasures of the Snow" by Patricia St. John. My favorite poem collection "Who Has Seen the Wind" as well as non-fiction books about robotics, jets, and Italian art are resting among the mound of books. Of course we won't get to read them all this week, but we will share many of them. And hopefully we will, in the process, get past the "I don't like school" phase and back to "This is MY favorite book". Happy Book Reading Day (Week/Month/Year/Lifetime)!!

New "disease" I have

I've come to the conclusion that I have "CAACD" (Computer aided attention confusion disorder). Yep. My very own, made up disease. I go to the computer early one morning to do one thing - say, send a fax for my hubby, and an hour and half later realize I have checked emails, renewed my library books, found new treasures on Amazon to covet, gone back to my library account to try to request the books I covet from Amazon, chatted online with a friend from high school about teenagers while I look at new photos on facebook from my son's friends, sent an email with a recipe to a relative that requested it several months ago, worked on my tax refund, and then realize my children haven't yet had breakfast!!! So I sign off, turn off the computer so it's no longer a temptation for interuption then get a phone call from hubby about why he still hasn't gotten the fax that I forgot to send because I got so sidetracked on all of the above. I turn the computer back on, while the printer is booting up, I log onto gmail to see if ........ and the cycle goes on. More certain than the rise and fall of the tides is the rise and fall of my attention span when I get on computers. Logging off now. For now. Until later...