Thursday, December 15, 2011

"How are you doing?"

"How are you doing?"
How many times I have asked this question of friends and acquaintances going through griefs, hardships and numerous trials and temptations. But do I mean it when I ask it?

It struck me this week when several different friends asked me this question. No, I am not going through a major loss or illness or even a fierce trial. They are asking because they, too, are mothers and their motherly hearts are torn in empathy when they hear us speak of our single daughter going halfway around the world for at least a year, to a city where she (and we) know not a single person, where she does not speak the language or understand the nuances of the culture, in a region where there is a lot of racial and economic tension. So these mothers ask me THE question. Funny thing, I can tell that some of them are asking out of courtesy, some out of curiosity and some out of deep compassion. Their motives are not "good" or "bad" but different mainly because they have different levels of emotional ties with my daughter and/or me. The one who asks almost flippantly is not any less caring than the one who asks the exact same question with tears in her eyes and a break in her voice. Every single person who has taken the time to ask has given me a special gift, simply because in this, the busiest of Holiday times, they took the time to ask.

The most amazing part of all of this journey to date, though, has been that there is One who does not need to ask. He knows the innermost thoughts and emotions of Derwin and me both. He knows the motives and heart of our daughter, her struggles to give up closely held dreams to take this step forward, and her triumphs in seeing His Hand in opening and closing the doors before her if she will only stay focused on Him. Yes, I ponder on the many "what-ifs" from minor (loss of luggage or passport, getting on the wrong train, saying something rude), to the maximum disaster level (war, famine, violence, etc.) but it is amazing how God DOES provide peace when we seek it. Tomorrow we might find out that something has glitched the paperwork, or world events may change all our plans, or..... or.... or....

So to answer THE question, I am not doing very well and cannot begin to imagine how we will miss her. BUT the Spirit of Christ floods my motherly emotions and desires and replaces fear with peace.

Years ago I sat with a sweet young daughter beside me on the worn couch as she studied for Bible Drill. Together we learned 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." How can I do anything but rejoice when that same daughter, now a beautiful young woman, chooses to follow the Spirit who makes that promise to her, to me and to all of us who believe?