The truth? I'm a phony. Yep. Some of my friends think I am really good at gardening (they haven't seen my squash dying before I knew what a squash bug was). Some of them think I'm a really good Mom (they haven't seen me lose my temper with my children). Some think I am smart (I think they missed me falling in the tub because I forgot the suds were slippery?!!) or organized (don't dare to open the garden shed door!) or a good wife (see me typing on the computer instead of snuggling with hubby?). Well, the one thing I seem to be good at is hiding the truth from my friends! I try to be, want to be, long to be, good at many things but the fact is that I'm not really good at anything. I keep trying and learning but the more I learn the more I realize how little I know and the one thing I do know is that there is only one good person. And what did He get for being good? Crucified. So in some ways I guess it's good that I'm not good. Yes, I've learned things over the years, have some knowledge about some parenting and gardening and books and marriage, but who wouldn't after all these years? And the fact that I have wasted so many moments, hours, days and even years chasing after "fluff" of this world is certainly nothing of which to be proud. I'm like Martha when I know I need to be Mary. But like an alcoholic who finally admits that he has no control over his drinking, I think the fact that I know I am (and always will be) a phony is somehow good in itself. It doesn't mean that I will stop learning about how to be a better wife or mother or teacher or... whatever. It just means that maybe most days I'll start in the right place - at the feet of the One who created me, loves me no matter what, died for me, lives for me, forgives me, teaches me, loves me some more, talks to me, listens to me, and is the best friend anyone can have, even though He knows my true heart. And I praise Him for the friends I have here on earth who love me in spite of my ways, too, and always look for the good in me, no matter what. They help me to keep on striving. Thanks, ladies!!
And thank you, JESUS for such amazing truth and love and comfort and everything else this phony needs to make it through this phony world. He is the unbelievably amazing truth.
'But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." '
2 Cor. 12:9
No comments:
Post a Comment