PS - Thankful Tree

This morning we took down our "Thankful tree" and various other Thanksgiving decorations that the children made. We're preparing for Christmas decorations to come but since I keep telling my children that Christmas should be Thanksgiving (ie what better time to be thankful for God's great gifts than when we celebrate HIS most precious gift to us) I'm listing here what was on each leaf of our thankful tree:
Clouds
Fruit
Aunts & Uncles
Music
Grandma
$$
Friends
Flowers
Dad
Bible
GOD
Family
Light
Cousins
Dark Chocolate (No, that one wasn't mine!!)
Obedient, Thoughtful, Good Spelling, Hard-working Children (Only one from Dad!)
Jesus
Mom & Dad
Emma, Russ, Ethan, Matt, JoJo and Katy
Trees
Mom
Water
Doctors
God's Love for Us
Batteries
Brothers & Sisters
Food
Hospitals
The Bible
A Mom that Loves Us
Snow
A car & clothes
A Father's Care
Opportunities
Trees & Flowers
A mother's love
Our church
Coffee
A God of Second chances
Fire
Brothers & Sisters
Freedom
Emma
Police

As we begin the Christmas season, my prayer is that our family will continue to count the real blessings in life and not the presents. I'd love ideas about how your family does that, too.
-F

Please don't offend me by calling me a Christian!

You read the title correctly.  I can be offended if you call me a "Christian".  Of course I understand that most people don't mean any offense by calling me a Christian, and may even be complimenting me.   Personally,  I understand the term to mean "Christ-like" or "little Christ" and I am definitely not that.  OK, you might use the term to mean a believer in or follower of Christ, and if so, then you would call me a "Christian."  But in our society/culture, the term "Christian" has been so watered down (unfortunately by those of us who claim Christ and yet do not follow Him wholly) that it means simply something as easy as a person who attends church (of any kind), a person who was baptized (at any time, for any reason), a person whose heritage/parentage is "Christian", or even one who likes the moral connotations associated with true Christian beliefs.   So just as an "American" inherits that term by where or to whom they were born, regardless of whether they either loathe, love or live lethargically toward this country, the term "Christian" has unfortunately become a similar paradigm.

Just call me a mutt.  Seriously.  I'm more of a mangy, scraggly flea-bitten puppy than a Christian.  I have an amazingly loving, merciful master that tenderly carries me across the hard places, feeds and loves me, and tries daily to transform me into something more beautiful.  I cannot ever be the Amazing Master that He is, but I will try to quit running away so often.  Daily I am unfaithful and ungrateful, but He loves me anyway.  The change from the runaway mutt to a glossy-coated obedient servant is slow, and painful, and most often difficult due to my stubborn, uncomprehending nature and old, bad habits.  But the Master never gives up.  And someday, when I see Him face to face, I will be able to be called a Christian - "Christ-like" - when He truly transforms me from the dog I am into the glory of His own precious, bought-with-a-price child.  In the meantime, don't be surprised if I look (and act) like a freak from a sci-fi movie (part-mutt, part-child of God) - it's a good thing!

Broken Motors

A few weeks ago we were having a bit of a dry spell.  The pecan trees really needed water and my dear hubby was totally overloaded at work and trying to prepare for another Prison Ministry event.  In my stubbornness  zeal to help, I jumped on the tractor, pulled a full tank (1,000 gallons = about 8,350 pounds!) and began watering.  In rounding the bend to the third row it happened.  Something happened, although to this day we aren't 100% sure exactly what.  All I know is that I was headed downhill, the tank started barreling toward the tractor and God truly protected me with a quick (very unnatural for me) reaction to swing sideways and back uphill out of the way of the tank.  The pump and motor were broken in several places, smoke and water gushing forth and I was near shock.  How could that happen so quickly?  And how did I escape what could have been a fatal disaster?  I do not know but I do know several things.
1 - My stubbornness never pays off.  Perseverance is good, you say?  Yes, but there is a difference between the two, the first being very pride-bound.  I'm not a persevering person, I'm just plain stubborn.
2 - God protects us from so many things that we may never see and not even know to be thankful for.  This day I knew I needed to thank Him for His protection, but how many times do I not even know or notice?  How many days do I take life for granted?
3 - Lack of communicating with my hubby always - yes, always - leads to problems.  It had crossed my mind to call him that morning before I got on the tractor.  I tried to tell myself later that I didn't want to bother him in his busy schedule, but in my heart I knew that he probably would have told me that he would get it done.  Did I really do it just to help him or was it that I liked doing things myself, independently, my own way?  Ouch.

4 - God takes care of things.  We have tried to tell others and truly believe that this farm is God's; we are just temporary caretakers (and poor ones at that).  The water trailer broke the same week as our car A/C, my hubby's truck valves went out, he had to have new tires to pass inspection and a medical bill was due.  The water trailer repair would have to wait.  "But God," I cried, "it's the end of July in the most critical weeks and always the driest weeks of the year.  This is when I need the trailer the most."  So I prayed for money to come from "somewhere" to cover it (we had made a commitment not to go into new debt).  The money didn't come.  It still hasn't.  But guess what?  Rains have come instead.  We have had the most rain on our farm during the past four weeks (the rain started the afternoon after I broke the trailer!) of any of our records for the past 7 years, and of the past 21 years our uncle (just down the road) has recorded!  God has taken care of His trees.  It's been a great reminder that this world is His, down to the last blade of grass (or dandelion), the tiniest bird, the tallest mountain, the vast oceans.  All of it.  His.  He looks after the details.  Would He still be faithful if He had not sent money for the trailer OR rain?  Absolutely.  "His ways are not our ways; His thoughts are not our thoughts".   But He cares.  He has taught me that He doesn't need me - but He does want me.  He can accomplish His will with or without me but He calls me to be blessed by being part of His work.  If  I will just communicate with Him, thank Him, and let Him break my stubborn "motor".

One Million Copper Coins

Once upon a time, not too very long ago, there was a gracious and kind King. He had many daughters and sons, and a great many more subjects in His Kingdom. To each and every one of His children and subjects He gave many copper coins. Each morning as they awoke, they found handfuls of coins ready and waiting for them. As they went through the day, they used the coins for everything they needed. As we look into the Kingdom we see a gray-haired plump fellow spending many of his coins on luxurious, scrumptious, aromatic food. A young woman spends almost all her gold on colorful silks and fashionable clothes that fill closets full. There is a young man spending away on impressing the ladies, feeding his pleasures. Some of these are the King's own children, some are only His subjects to the point where it is almost impossible to tell the difference between the two except for the fact that the children go home to the King's own palace.

The king has instructed all of His children how to use their coins.  He has warned them against waste, encouraged them to share with others, and shown by His own example exactly how to use these coins.  If they try to hoard the gold, they discover that the coins not used that day will be gone, dissolved completely away by the next day.  Many try desperately to discover a way to replicate the coins, spending many from their daily quota discussing, researching, testing ways to either retain or copy the precious treasure.  But year after year no one is able to keep or produce coins - only the King Himself. 

So the game plan of all of His subjects, and most of His children, is how to spend the coins to accumulate things that can be traded for more coins the following day, without taking time to reflect that no matter how many possessions they surround themselves with they cannot buy and keep a single coin for more than a day.  A few, too very few, realize the futility of the game and ponder on why the King bestows on them the coins at all.  Why would a loving - bountifully loving - Father shower them with coins that only He can create every time their eyes open?  Why does He bestow on them such abundance when they do not even take the time to consider it a gift?  So these few, as they look carefully at these coins, discover them more valuable than their minds and heart can comprehend.  That is when those few finally begin to stop and on a rare occasion thank the King for His gifts.  After a short while of genuinely Thanking Him they begin to study His manual more to see what He wants them to do with the currency.  They look at His example of how He Himself uses these pieces of money and discover He gives away everything He has an opportunity to give.  Some ask Him what he wants in return, never believing it is free, no strings attached.  Some ask for more than they were already given, greedily searching for a way to discover the unknown secret to hoard the precious cash.  But the few, finally by reading and watching, discover that they desire to follow His example by giving away their gold.  They spend it to share this wonderful secret of the King's with those who are playing the game around them.  And finally they realize the stark truth that what they get in exchange is far greater than what they had given away.

How do you spend the currency of seconds and minutes and hours given to you each day?

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,  making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.  Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is."  Eph. 5: 15-17

Joel meets Cinderella

Some (OK, most) of my friends would call me a "hopeless romantic". And yes, I love books and movies like "Pride and Prejudice" and "Love Comes Softly" . Get out the tissues and cry along with me, OK? But there is a problem in our media/entertainment saturated culture that is very disturbing even to an old romantic woman like me. Somewhere along the way many women (and men too, probably) have lost the sense of what is fiction and reality. We have plunged into the pool of feel-good entertainment and forgotten that it does not mirror real, meaningful, precious and eternal life. It is simply a two-dimensional still portrait (and usually as fake as a touched-up portrait of a supermodel) of a living, breathing, changing, bought-with-a-price pearl of great price real life. Somewhere we have mixed up Cinderella's story with modern day teaching of "God will make you happy if you have enough faith". We have forgotten what the reality of life actually needs us to do. This is most evident in "Christian" marriages around me.

For some reason recently I have been intimately involved with five - yes five - marriages that are or were "troubled". These are dear friends, some almost lifelong, and all very dear to my heart. As I have walked beside, prayed with, cried on, opened my home, shared burdens and joys with each of these wives, I have seen firsthand the devastating effect of the "Health, Wealth and Happiness" myth that has been intertwined with the Cinderella "Happily Ever After" myth. And I have also seen the miraculous restoration of marriages based solely on the wife's willingness to "do things God's way", often at great turmoil and cost to herself and yes, even to her children.

What is marriage, anyway? Is it the joining of a man and woman until the "better" part is not evident, and the "worse" has risen its ugly head (you remember - "for better or worse"?). Is it a pact or agreement for short-term happiness? I think the idea of marriage being lifelong, for better or worse, richer or poorer, and most of all as a symbol of Christ's love for his "bride" has been totally lost in our culture. For sure, when I stood at the altar almost 33 years ago I had no idea that I was to represent believers and my husband was to represent Christ. I also had no idea of the joys and trials, ugliness and beauty, sorrow, death and growing love that would all become part of my being through my marriage. But I did know one thing - marriage was lifelong - a covenant - not to be thrown away but to be worked at no matter what. At one point I had forgotten this, and was literally in the car with a packed suitcase. There was no "love" left, no seeming chance of a "happily ever after" anymore. What stopped me? Why did I not back down that driveway? Why didn't my husband get on a plane and leave? I think part of the reason is that deep down we knew marriage was more than about the two of us, or even about the five of us (three children at the time). Somewhere we had been taught that our actions could affect lots of people, maybe in ways we didn't even think about. And most of all, I think it was by the grace and mercy of God that we did not walk away. Maybe because we had parents praying for us, maybe because Christ knew that someday, many years later I could look another discouraged woman in the eye and tell her to not seek divorce and she would know that I meant it.

One of these friends had eight years of suffering and pleading with the Lord, begging the husband not to get a divorce when what she really, really wanted was to get rid of the problems and move on with her life. After he insisted on divorce against her will, now two years later God has changed his heart through a men's Bible study, and he is now asking his wife for another chance! What if she had given up, remarried, "moved on"? For "His ways are not our ways" and we must be very, very careful who and what we listen to that guides our hearts, for our minds and bodies will follow our hearts every time.

So why do I write this post and share it with you? Because we all need a reminder that the culture is a strong tide and it is hard work, tiring and often discouraging to swim against the tide. Sometimes a rip tide will surprise you and pull you into a drowning marital strife where you feel completely lost and hopeless. It is at these hard - really hard - times that we need to remember that marriage is not all about "our happiness". Marriage should be a picture to each other, our children, extended family and the world around us that we have a hope and a joy that is outside of our own desires.

They should see us react in ways that are not "natural", for they are literally supernatural, spiritual and holy by the strength of the Lord living in us. Of course wives should never, ever stay in situations where they are abused, downtrodden or their children are in danger. But there is a great gulf of a difference between protecting yourself and escaping hard times. There is also a vast ocean of a difference between leaving a dangerous situation and immediately throwing the marriage to the wind. The past few weeks I have been blessed beyond words to watch two dear friends on their knees begging that the Lord would continue to give them love and patience for very selfish, difficult husbands. It is a testimony to me, who is blessed with a wonderful husband, and to others who are in various situations with believing husbands, addicts, husbands who spit at the name of Christ, husbands who run from responsibilities of caring for their wife or children. These women have shown me firsthand that we all seek "happily ever after". It's just that they have the wisdom and love of the Lord to know that the "ever after" is not in this world but the next. They desire to hear those precious words "Well done, my good and faithful servant" rather than running around leaving their shoes behind for some "Prince Charming" to "rescue" them.

May we each strive every moment of every day to make our marriages a picture of love, patience and everlasting forgiveness.

Taking a Weapon Into Prison

Did you know that it is a federal offense to take a cell phone into prison? Of course, when you think about it, it makes sense. But cell phones are smaller and we carry them with us everywhere so it would be easy to forget to leave it at home. But what if I told you that last weekend a group of men carried a weapon into a maximum security prison? And what if that weapon was so powerful that no walls could block its effects? And if I told you that this weapon was carried in a small box but that the components of it were hidden within each of the 30 volunteers that had met all security clearances for visitors and had proceeded through a series of scanners without anyone seeing the weapon?

It is not fiction. This actually occurred last weekend. Walls thicker than prison walls were penetrated and broken down. Walls of self-preservation built up by years of hurt and pain and mistrust and abuse beyond what most of us could ever imagine. Walls of unforgiveness, coated with layers of desire for revenge, reinforced by steel bars of determination completely dissolved away under the influence of this weapon. Unbelievable changes occurred; stone hearts transformed into pliable, loving, forgiving ones. Minds totally clouded by hatred and evil enlightened by love and hope. Hope. A visitor long forgotten by many of these men came back into their presence. Hope. A light in the darkness. Hope. Regardless of circumstances or surroundings.

A weapon that tears down walls but brings hope? Yes. A weapon that tears away lies and hurts, brandishes healing for old wounds, initiates the beginning of a new understanding of what life could be like. A weapon stronger than walls, more powerful than evil, more permanent than this earthly life. Last weekend my husband was overwhelmed when he realized that he was allowed to carry this weapon behind the prison walls. This weapon that would free anyone from the bars of sin, free anyone from the gates of hell, free anyone from the prison walls of unforgiveness and selfishness. As he stood holding the box that held this weapon he knew that Christ was honored by the men willing to carry this weapon into a place of darkness, in a way that would break down the thickest prison walls - those inside a man's heart. Some were softened to yield to the weapon by the display of love through homemade cookies, placemats made by children, prayer chains showing that they were not only not forgotten, but were remembered in sincere prayer. Praise the Lord for His weapon and for giving a few the honor of carrying it in to do battle. The victory is His - and it is already won!

Dealing with a difficult husband

Several friends of mine struggle with husbands who are...ummm... difficult. Really, aren't they all? But more honestly, aren't we all difficult? As broken, selfish,"sons of Adam and daughters of Eve" we are all pretty messed up. Yes, some more than others but all of us. No exceptions. I don't know about you but I could spend many hours and many days thinking about how to "improve" my spouse. In fact, I ashamedly admit I have done exactly that over the past 33 years. Now let's evaluate that. How much change came when I have tried my hand at "improving" my spouse? Well, my efforts did create some effects. Not usually positive, though.


Why? Because even though the two are one in Christ, there is really only one person you can change. Yep, you know it as well as I do. It is so much easier to "work" on changing our spouses, our children, our friends, our enemies. And it's tough, really tough, to honestly stare into the looking glass of God's Word to see our dirty, rotten, selfish selves. Think about it. What would you think you looked like if you had no mirror or smooth glass or calm pool of water to look into? Would you know when you had raccoon eyes from smudged mascara? Would you feel the smudge on your face? That's why I find myself often avoiding God's Word, or parts of it, or just casually reading it or worse of all, quoting it to others in a judgmental tone. I don't want to look at the smudge of sin on my heart. I want to avoid looking at the ugliness of selfishness.

So how do you deal with a difficult husband? The same way the Lord deals with you. Love, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control. Don't have them? Neither do I or any other human on this ball of earth. But Jesus has promised to give them to us if we let HIM live in us - His Holy Spirit on the throne of our hearts. With Him in control, I don't have to worry about what my husband is or is not. And then my husband may find he doesn't have such a difficult spouse to live with either.