Broken Motors

A few weeks ago we were having a bit of a dry spell.  The pecan trees really needed water and my dear hubby was totally overloaded at work and trying to prepare for another Prison Ministry event.  In my stubbornness  zeal to help, I jumped on the tractor, pulled a full tank (1,000 gallons = about 8,350 pounds!) and began watering.  In rounding the bend to the third row it happened.  Something happened, although to this day we aren't 100% sure exactly what.  All I know is that I was headed downhill, the tank started barreling toward the tractor and God truly protected me with a quick (very unnatural for me) reaction to swing sideways and back uphill out of the way of the tank.  The pump and motor were broken in several places, smoke and water gushing forth and I was near shock.  How could that happen so quickly?  And how did I escape what could have been a fatal disaster?  I do not know but I do know several things.
1 - My stubbornness never pays off.  Perseverance is good, you say?  Yes, but there is a difference between the two, the first being very pride-bound.  I'm not a persevering person, I'm just plain stubborn.
2 - God protects us from so many things that we may never see and not even know to be thankful for.  This day I knew I needed to thank Him for His protection, but how many times do I not even know or notice?  How many days do I take life for granted?
3 - Lack of communicating with my hubby always - yes, always - leads to problems.  It had crossed my mind to call him that morning before I got on the tractor.  I tried to tell myself later that I didn't want to bother him in his busy schedule, but in my heart I knew that he probably would have told me that he would get it done.  Did I really do it just to help him or was it that I liked doing things myself, independently, my own way?  Ouch.

4 - God takes care of things.  We have tried to tell others and truly believe that this farm is God's; we are just temporary caretakers (and poor ones at that).  The water trailer broke the same week as our car A/C, my hubby's truck valves went out, he had to have new tires to pass inspection and a medical bill was due.  The water trailer repair would have to wait.  "But God," I cried, "it's the end of July in the most critical weeks and always the driest weeks of the year.  This is when I need the trailer the most."  So I prayed for money to come from "somewhere" to cover it (we had made a commitment not to go into new debt).  The money didn't come.  It still hasn't.  But guess what?  Rains have come instead.  We have had the most rain on our farm during the past four weeks (the rain started the afternoon after I broke the trailer!) of any of our records for the past 7 years, and of the past 21 years our uncle (just down the road) has recorded!  God has taken care of His trees.  It's been a great reminder that this world is His, down to the last blade of grass (or dandelion), the tiniest bird, the tallest mountain, the vast oceans.  All of it.  His.  He looks after the details.  Would He still be faithful if He had not sent money for the trailer OR rain?  Absolutely.  "His ways are not our ways; His thoughts are not our thoughts".   But He cares.  He has taught me that He doesn't need me - but He does want me.  He can accomplish His will with or without me but He calls me to be blessed by being part of His work.  If  I will just communicate with Him, thank Him, and let Him break my stubborn "motor".