Dealing with a difficult husband

Several friends of mine struggle with husbands who are...ummm... difficult. Really, aren't they all? But more honestly, aren't we all difficult? As broken, selfish,"sons of Adam and daughters of Eve" we are all pretty messed up. Yes, some more than others but all of us. No exceptions. I don't know about you but I could spend many hours and many days thinking about how to "improve" my spouse. In fact, I ashamedly admit I have done exactly that over the past 33 years. Now let's evaluate that. How much change came when I have tried my hand at "improving" my spouse? Well, my efforts did create some effects. Not usually positive, though.


Why? Because even though the two are one in Christ, there is really only one person you can change. Yep, you know it as well as I do. It is so much easier to "work" on changing our spouses, our children, our friends, our enemies. And it's tough, really tough, to honestly stare into the looking glass of God's Word to see our dirty, rotten, selfish selves. Think about it. What would you think you looked like if you had no mirror or smooth glass or calm pool of water to look into? Would you know when you had raccoon eyes from smudged mascara? Would you feel the smudge on your face? That's why I find myself often avoiding God's Word, or parts of it, or just casually reading it or worse of all, quoting it to others in a judgmental tone. I don't want to look at the smudge of sin on my heart. I want to avoid looking at the ugliness of selfishness.

So how do you deal with a difficult husband? The same way the Lord deals with you. Love, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control. Don't have them? Neither do I or any other human on this ball of earth. But Jesus has promised to give them to us if we let HIM live in us - His Holy Spirit on the throne of our hearts. With Him in control, I don't have to worry about what my husband is or is not. And then my husband may find he doesn't have such a difficult spouse to live with either.