What's the big deal about profanity?

Three letter posts, texts, spoken "words" come at us constantly and have become so ingrained in our daily lives most of us do not even think about them.  I refuse to even put their letters here because they make me think the words that go with them.  They are not just innocent letters. Even now, I apologize if the thought of them makes you think those words.  Words matter.  

"Do you not understand that everything that goes into the mouth passes into the stomach, and is eliminated? "But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders."  Matt. 17:17-19

Ouch.  I have used, abused, and spewed out words.  As I get older, I realize the intense power of those words.  And I ponder profanity.  My parents had "rules" - don't say this, always say that, etc.  Unfortunately I learned to obey the rules only, and didn't really understand the reason behind the rules.  It is the kind of thinking when I thought that the Ten Commandments were "don't"s and not understanding that they are all about the difference between our sinful nature and God's Holy One, and that only a loving God would give us rules so that we could find truth. 
and love. 
and joy. 
and eternal life.

Profanity - the opposite of sacred.  I don't want to be profane.  Actually, I desire holiness, sacredness, righteousness, Godliness.  That is the sad part about being surrounded by profanity, the sad part that we are not taught the difference between sacred and profane, respect and selfishness, courtesy and rudeness.  Our culture has trampled on the sacred under the banner of "rights" and "freedoms".  I am thankful for the rules my parents set - we were not allowed to say "dang it" or "darn" because they explained it was simply a more "acceptable" way of using a swear word.  They explained less (if at all) about why using the curse words was profane.  It has been only recently that this hard heart of mine has absorbed the full reality that profanity in any sense is the total epitomy of selfishness.  It does not consider the sacred nature of our own minds or hearts, the sacred in others, the sacredness of what our society could be if it was redeemed by the Redeemer of all.  The profanity of others dirties my mind and heart, but also makes me wonder at why I am not more careful with my words, too.  It reminds me that we are all in need of mercy.  
and grace.  
and redemption. 

"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth;
    keep watch over the door of my lips!"  Psalm 141:3

What song does my heart sing?

A subject that I like to discuss is well stated in the blog below.  Personally, I have swung between all contemporary to no contemporary music just because of my personal preferences and lack of maturity.  At the end of the day, the music style is really a moot point - the lyrics and style should be Christ-focused, the congregation be unified and uplifted as they truly worship and visitors be drawn to the love, joy and unity of the body of Christ,  I have seen those truths clearly in both off-tune versus professional quality performances, the most contemporary rap/hip-hop versus southern-gospel banjo hymns, acappella versus full orchestra, and at the end of the day - it's all about the heart(s).

http://worshipleader.com/culture/why-should-i-play-music-that-old-people-like/

What if the nation of Israel is wiped out?

Would the end of the world, the return of Christ be imminent if the nation of Israel as we know it ceased to exist?

Would your faith in Christ be shaken or destroyed if Christ did not return immediately if Israel was destroyed by her enemies?

These are questions I have asked others lately and put them into a panic.  In all honesty I am asking not because I have any definitive answers but because they are so very sure that they do.  You see, as I read and study the scriptures more I see that each of us reads and studies from a very closed cultural context, and a very self-centered one at that.  Just a few days ago I heard several Christians state that if America were destroyed, it would of course mean that the end of the world was here.  Since I have had the privilege of international travel, and have a wonderful believing son-in-law from another country, I see things quite a bit differently.  The end of America as a democracy or country might coincide with Christ's return.  But how very self-centered (and incorrect!) we are to think that Christ's eternal Kingdom is dependent on America!  But what about Israel - "God's chosen nation"?  Isn't its very existence a fulfillment of prophecy of end times?

Firstly, we must remember that the nation of Israel as it exists is not the Israel of the Old Testament.  Are the descendants of Abraham special to God?  Certainly.  But who are the descendants of Abraham?  Romans 4 tells us "This is why the promise is by faith, so that it may be according to grace, to guarantee it to all the descendants - not only to those who are of the law but also to those who are of Abraham's faith.  He is the father of us all in God's sight.  As it is written: I have made you the father of many nations.  He believed in God, who gives life to the dead and calls things into existence that do not exist.  He believed, hoping against hope, so that he became the father of many nations according to what had been spoken: So will your descendants be."

Who is Israel?  WE are Israel.  Romans 4 concludes: "Therefore, it was credited to him for righteousness. Now it was credited to him was not written for Abraham alone, but also for us. It will be credited to us who believe in Him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification."

Secondly, many are trying to affix a date, a time, of the end.  Yes, we are to look for ripening of the ages with scripture in hand.  But this is so that each generation can be aware of the brevity of life, the need for being ready at any moment to step from this "shadowland" into the reality of eternity.  Too many people are looking to the nation of Israel as a "sign".  Beware of signs, especially those that satisfy our need to label others, to boost our already too-large ego, or to draw us away from growing in Christ as we use our time and energy to satisfy our curiosity.  “Now concerning that day and hour no one knows—neither the angels in heaven, nor the Son —except the Father only."  Matthew 24:36

Much of my life I have looked at things (and often still do) from a temporal, "this-is-my-little-world" view rather than the universal and eternal view that the Lord has.  Certainly my finite mind and soul cannot begin to comprehend the complexity and longevity that the Lord could show me, but at least over the years He has allowed me to see how very tiny and extremely self-centered my view usually is.  And for some reason He has allowed me to see that others are caught in the web of deceit concerning the nation of Israel.

** Please don't misunderstand - I stand strongly with Israel and will do whatever I can to support not only her existence but her strength.   Most of all her people are in my prayers as I long to see her multitudes see the hope of the true Messiah and not to place their hope of peace in a worldly nation.  But just as I do not think Christ is dependent on America's existence to carry out the plan for His eternal Kingdom, I do not think He is dependent on the existence of the state of Israel, the nation of Great Britain, the house churches in China or the Islamic state of Iran to carry out His will.  Will He use each of these nations and the individuals in them for His purposes?  Of course.  But He is Sovereign and Eternal and Omnipotent and the nations are in His hands.

"For the kingdom is the Lord’s,
And He rules over the nations."
Psalm 22:28

What's Your Mission?

“If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.”

Lewis Carroll

Now, I am not a big fan of Lewis Carroll (that's for another post on another day), but he certainly said the above correctly.  I'm afraid that too often I have lost the forest for the trees in both parenting and homeschooling.  At the beginning of the year, I have grand plans, can clearly see the long-term goals we have for our children (namely, to become God-glorifying adults), and think that all the planning will lead us to the ultimate victory.  But this year I am again reminded of how very, very easily I get sidetracked, distracted, off-the-track, --- what was I saying?  Oh, yes, sticking with goals.

Since the first year we began homeschooling (back in the Dark Ages), I have kept our "Mission Statement" in the front of my teacher's notebook.  Coming from the business world into homeschooling, I knew that we would never reach the ultimate vision we set unless we clearly stated our "Mission" in writing.  It is amazing to me how many parents have no idea what their "Mission" for homeschooling might be.  As I talk with them, I am sometimes discouraged to find out that the real reason they are homeschooling is a fear of public schools, a fear of what their children will be exposed to, a fear of how they will be bullied, what they will be taught, how long they might be away from a doting mother.  Now, realistic fear is healthy, but 2 Timothy tells us "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."   If the only reason you are homeschooling is out of fear, you should pray about whether or not you have truly been called to do this!

Even more amazing is how much of life we use up, waste away, let slip by, or just forget our own goals or mission in life.  We fill up the hours, even the minutes, with busy-ness sometimes not even realizing that we are running from that all-important question - "Why am I here on this earth?"

There are a lot of things wrong with businesses today, and there were many poor or bad habits I learned being in the business world for so many years.  But as with all things, we can learn from the positive elements (and the negative, but again, that's another post!).  One of these is the fact - yes, fact - that if you want to see your vision become reality, you need a clear understanding of your Mission and Goals.  As I look back over the past 15 years, I realize that although we started some school years with a clear mission and goals, most years I just got lost in the trees of curriculum, activities and life pressures; not a great model for my children and not working diligently to make sure they understood how very important it was to us that they knew Christ in a real and all-consuming way.

As we go about each day and get overwhelmed with the details of life, we are constantly drawn away from the real, meaningful actions.  We get lost in words and activities, and miss those precious points of true connection with friends and family.  We hurry and scurry about to get "it" all done and ignore the quiet tug in our souls to get alone and quiet with the One who is sweetly calling our new name.

What is my "Mission"?  Sure, I could say "To raise Godly children" and that might be very true.  But that is a vision - a "big picture idea", not a mission - and it will never help me to achieve the vision.  "To use XYZ curriculum" might be the thing on my heart and mind right now - but that is an action to support the mission and goals, not the mission.  Totally confused yet?  Stick with my rambling, please - I hope you will be glad you did.

God through His Word tells us: "The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord." The Message says it this way: "Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word.  Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; God probes for what is good.  Put God in charge of your work, then what you’ve planned will take place".

Too much of what I have done and continue to do is based on "whatever looks good".  Too little is based on what IS good - deep down, cleansing, healing, changing, molding that only the Holy Spirit through the Word of God can do.  My "Mission" in life and in our school is to allow the Savior to be LORD of all - for HIM to rule and reign in every nook and cranny, cleaning out the cobwebs under the laziness of my heart, shining His light into the damp, stinking corners in the basement of my soul to bring fresh life, and to cleanse the layers of grimy selfishness away until they are sparkling clean.  My mission is to be a follower, a disciple, a servant.  And then if I can just let GOD be in charge, it will be pleasing to Him, which is all any of us can ever desire as our mission.  

Become as little children

Some time back I read a book entitled "Waking the Dead" by John Elderidge. The scriptures he quoted really spoke to me about how I need to seriously make sure that my heart, my whole heart, not just my head or part of my heart, is revived by the Lord. Then this morning in Matthew 18 I was reminded of Mr. Elderidge's chapter about becoming like little children. Now revival and being child-like may be two different topics to you but it is clear to me that the main reason I don't allow Christ to rule in my whole heart is my unwillingness to become child-like. Time and again the absolute best things that have happened in my life have been when I have turned over control to the Lord. So why do I fight what I know is the best? My insane desire to be in control, to be the decision-maker, to be the thinker, to be... well, un-child-like. Untrusting. Unyielding.

So today begins (again) another day that I will pray for that child-like faith. And today (again) HE will be there to awaken my heart from its cold slumber of selfish sleep. Praise the LORD - every day HE will be there to re-awaken it as long as I live. And maybe somehow each day will take me one step closer to being a child - a child who willingly, unhesitatingly, trusting and obeying without question places my heart and my path in His nail-scarred hands.

Idols come in strange shapes and sizes

In China we saw people praying to statutes of a bull, a dragon and even turtle. This brought to life the stories of the Old Testament where many were worshiping baal. Recently my youngest children and I passed a buddhist temple that had just added a new buddha to their property. My youngest son commented on how foolish it was to worship or pray to something made of stone or metal, which could not see or hear or even move. How true this is but there are also idols that do move, see and hear. Huh? Well, in the past months I have come to the shameful conclusion that I have had idols in my heart that are living. For several years I struggled with knowing that worldly possessions, titles, jobs, money were all idols deeply embedded in my heart and desires. As I rid myself of those, I had mistakenly, and harmfully, become self-righteous thinking that finally I had no idols left, but had genuinely placed Christ first and only as my desire. Wrong. Again.

A little over two years ago my niece was killed in a motorcycle accident. Among many other things, it made me evaluate how much I cherished my children. Yes, it is good to cherish and love your children. But what if the love of your children (or spouse) is your primary focus? What if in seeking to serve and love them you do not desire the Lord first and foremost? Then several other things happened with my family, my friends, loss of loved ones, that made me realize that my love and desires for the best for my children were not what they should be. These loved ones, their lives and their futures had become idols. Uggh.

So how do you balance the deep love of your spouse and children with the love of the Lord?

“Therefore say to the house of Israel, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD: “Repent, turn away from your idols, and turn your faces away from all your abominations. For anyone of the house of Israel, or of the strangers who dwell in Israel, who separates himself from Me and sets up his idols in his heart and puts before him what causes him to stumble into iniquity, then comes to a prophet to inquire of him concerning Me, I the LORD will answer him by Myself." - Ezekiel 14:6-7

"And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us an understanding, that we may know Him who is true; and we are in Him who is true, in His Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life. Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen." - 1 John 5:20-21

Lately I have realized that my desire for a loving relationship with my husband, children who love the Lord, and other "good" desires were idols. Plain old idols. Maybe not made of wood or stone or bronze but just as bad. Sometimes it's easy to condemn what is obvious because it is not in our own heart, but very difficult to come to grips with condemning what is hidden within our own souls. Lord, help me to keep everything in its right place. Help me to love my wonderful husband and children but to always, always, every moment love You more. Keep me from all idols of all kinds.

One more label?

Over the past year I have been reading some great books such as "Radical" (and "Radical Together"), "Crazy Love", "Experiencing the Holy Spirit", "The Heavenly Man", and "The Spirit-Filled Life". One theme seems to stick out in all of them. What does it mean to be "Christian"? Is it a label we add to others, like American, White, Black, Asian, Accountant, Banker, Mechanic, College Graduate, Parent, Musician, Runner, Golfer, Neighbor, Gardener, Coffee Drinker, Friend?
I really don't like the word "Christian" because it has lost its true meaning and seems to be just another title or label with little or no meaning anymore. So many people call themselves by that name and have no relationship or knowledge of Christ at all.
At one point I liked "Jesus Freak" better - it designated a deeper commitment, a more radical stance than simply another label to slap on to our bumpers or facebook pages. There is a series of books entitled "Jesus Freaks" and I certainly don't qualify to stand alongside these amazing martyrs so I dropped that potential label.
What about "Jesus Follower"? Closer. But I do more than follow Jesus. I try to yield to and obey Him (although I do it pretty poorly) in every aspect, learning more of Him and His Way each day. Blind followers do not think and question and seek but true believers in Jesus Christ, the Messiah and King of Kings are told to do just that.
"Jesus Imitator" would be a great label, but would be a falsehood to where I stand and would seem to indicate that somehow my efforts bring me closer to Christ, when it is in Him and through Him that any growth can happen. "Under His Wings" is one I really like, because that is usually how I make it through each day. Yep, I think that one is the closest to any "label" I would like to wear. Under the Wings of the One who created me, loves me and keeps every molecule in its place in this vast universe. Pretty amazing that He calls me to come and allows me in my pitiful state to call on Him. Even more unbelievable is that He loves and forgives me when He knows the deep wickedness of my heart. But that's who HE is and so for now that is the "label" I choose if I have to do so. May you reside under His wings, too, and there find that it is a peaceful, joyful, satisfying thing to be there under the Wings of the One who loves you beyond the ability of all human love, even beyond our understanding of love. Oh praise Him!

Have you been purged?

Where do I begin to tell of what God has been teaching me lately? I think it begins with a question for all of us - what do I cling to? Let me think honestly, genuinely, what I have clung to over the years - money, home, job, dreams of a future where everyone lives "happily ever after", praise of others, spouse, children, physical looks, mental abilities, health, ......... And what has happened in the past few years? Many of us have been forced to come face to face with the insufficiency of these things. Parents have died, even some of my loved ones have lost children to physical death, spouses have left the home, many have lost jobs and homes and the self-esteem tied to them, savings and "security". Others have faced very difficult losses of health, broken engagements, broken church bodies, broken promises, broken hopes and dreams. So where is God in all of this? Everywhere I look either a friend, relative or I personally am experiencing pain and loss in each of these things. And do you know what? I can see God's love and hand clearer now than ever before. Because the love of God shines brightest when we hurt, if we will but take our eyes off ourselves or our precious "treasures". We give ourselves more fully to the One in charge when we finally face the fact that we are not in charge! Oh, what joy and peace comes with the pain of purging our tight grip on our "treasures"! Oh, how we can love on each other during hard times when we know Who is standing at the door of our hearts with the tissues and bandaids that will comfort those broken pieces left of our lives. Easy? Oh, no! My flesh and selfish ways want to scream at God that He does not need to allow these things. But without them so many of us would go on blindly and stubbornly stumbling through the world thinking it was all in our control. Thank you, Lord that it is not! When you cannot see God for the tears in your soul, feel Him in your heart. He is faithful. Always. Always.

"Death -
Death can be faced,
dealt with,
adjusted to,
outlived.
It's the
not knowing
that destroys
interminably...
This
being suspended
in suspense;
waiting - weightless,
How does one face
the faceless,
adjust to nothing?
Waiting implies
something to wait for.
Is there?
There is One.
One who knows...
I rest my soul on that."
— Ruth Bell Graham

In the heat and drought....

Less than 1/2 inch of rain during the past forty days has meant many, many hours filling the tank, driving the tractor and watering trees. Some days I think I go to bed counting slowly to 30 in my head with my arms aching from aiming the fireman's hose to/from each tree while turning the hard steering wheel of the tractor. I just want it to rain. No, that's not true - I just want it to rain without hard winds and slowly soak in overnight with a slow, steady rain. Picky, huh?!
But with all this hot, dry weather I can't help but meditate on the "living water" and "never thirst again". When I have plenty to drink I honestly don't think about water. When it rains abundantly, I take it for granted. Only when I am hot and thirsty do I realize the amazing qualities of water. Only when it is dry and my throat is parched do I long for a cool drink. Recently I have had a drought in my spiritual life as well as on the farm. The living water is there, waiting, and I have chosen to get dry and thirsty. The Word of the Lord has been left stagnant too often and my heart has been drying up. I could chose not to water the pecan trees and watch them dry up quickly and die. What a foolish waste that would be. But how even more foolish a waste it is to let my spiritual growth wither up for the lack of quiet reflection on God's Word. The spring is flowing. Lord, help me to choose to drink from your well of living water. Help me not just to survive, but to grow and thrive so that your fruit will blossom for others. Make me aware of my thirst and feed me your water every moment of every day. Thank you, Lord, for the wonder of physical water and the satisfaction of living water. Let it flow!

Last Year's Weeds

This is the time of year that we attempt to "stay ahead" of all of the spring and summer weeds. OK, usually it's like a race comparable to "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" but not nearly as funny. One thing we have had to deal with this spring is the fact that we had a very nice, somewhat wet, fall. This means that just before frost last year we had a lot of new weeds take root. No problem, it frosted shortly after, right? Well, this spring that has meant two problems. One, more weed seeds just itching to sprout exactly where we don't want them, and two, a matting of old, dead weeds that block the herbicide from getting soaked into the waiting seeds. So what does this have to do with you and anything you would even vaguely be interested in? Sin. Yep. We just cannot get away from the analogy between weeds and sin. Check out Genesis Chapter 3. So as I try to remove the dead weeds, spray for new weeds and determine which can be pulled without damaging the trees' roots (i.e. have shallow roots themselves), I think on my "old mistakes" (aka sins), "new wrong desires" (aka sins), and "bad habits" (aka sins). What a mess! But Jesus is better than Roundup, so I rejoice!! And as I hoe and pull at those weeds, I rejoice even more. For without those horrible weeds I would easily forget how bad the "weeds" are in my own life.

Sucker!!

There is hardly a day that goes by that I do not learn (or usually relearn since I am so poor at actually exercising my attitude and actions to use what I have learned) a lesson from the farm. This morning I was removing suckers from the lower trunks/limbs of the pecan trees. It is frustrating to see all of that new growth and energy being spent on suckers instead of being routed to the growth of the tree and its fruiting capabilities. Hmmmmm...... yep, I let too many little "distracting suckers" (wrong attentions) sap my strength from eternal fruits. I think that I should get a picture of these suckers and paste on my calendar. Just as a reminder of what is really important.

Good Friday Thoughts

Science can give us a feeling
of being smart.
Politics and fame can give us
a sense of importance.
Religion can make us believe
that we are actually good.
But when we look at the Messiah
hanging on a cross, beaten and bleeding
and breathing His last for our sin;
when we truly look at who He is
and what He has done,
we look at the Truth.
We are but foolish vapors
who are deceitful and selfish
in everything we do.
And yet He did this for us anyway.
The sinless Christ knows what we truly are
and yet He still chose to endure
that agony for us.
When I see Him through His Word,
I can see nothing of value in myself
for Him to love.
But He does.

Amazing mercy...

grace indescribable...

love beyond words.......

Let me never take my eyes off the One who hung on that cross.

Uncomprehensible

When I am in heaven,
Looking on Your Holy Face,
Will I be able to understand
The depth of your great grace?

When we bow before you
Seated on your holy throne
Will I comprehend
Why you chose me as your own?

When my eyes behold your glory
In its fullness and unveiled,
Can my heart perceive it
And not fully melt?

As we sing "Hosanna,
Worthy is the Lamb"
Can my voice join in
Without choking as I am?

In this world of sin
Even when we really try
We can't comprehend
How You must be up on high.

Tiny little glimpses
Like snowflakes in the spring
Are the only visions
Of your glory we can see.

Oh, how overwhelming
Is your sacrifice and love
For this vilest sinner
You chose to be with you above.

Help to dim my senses
To this world below
Seeing more of your sweet face
And your grace that overflows.

Random acts of kindness - really??

"Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty." This quote (bumpersticker/fb sticker/etc) has always irritated me. It sounds good on the surface. But I don't want to practice random acts of kindness. As a Christian I should long to practice consistent, meaningful, acts of kindness. Not for my own "I'm OK because I do something good once in a while" emotion. In quiet, humble, often unseen ways I want to practice consistent kindness because I am NOT good. In spite of my selfish, glory-seeking deceitful heart I want to be kind to others because Christ has showered kindness and mercy and love and grace on me anyway. I want my acts of kindness to be so natural and numerous that people don't even notice them because they come from the heart of God, not from my own desire to feel better about myself.

And "senseless acts of beauty"? Really? Are there such things as "sense"less acts of beauty? Can beauty be seen or appreciated without using senses? Doesn't the Creator Himself use all senses to show us the organized order of beauty such as the stars in the universe and petals on a flower?  Or if by senseless you mean without a purpose or no real depth (or even foolish), then are they beautiful?

Now before you jump and say I am too harshly criticizing this quote, I will say it for you. Yes, I am being overly critical of probably what started out as a simple off-the-cuff well-intentioned remark. But the reason this quote rubs me is because I often follow it myself. My acts of kindness are often self-seeking and random rather than Christ-glorifying and consistent. Acts of beauty on my part are often senseless, meaningless, and probably pretty far from being beautiful in the eyes of the One who created true beauty. I think that's the real problem I have with this bumper sticker. It sticks too close to my own heart.

What is Sin?

Our pastor is beginning a series on a very unpopular topic - sin. We actually left a church a few years ago that voted out the pastor because "he just wanted to preach about sin" ! If you went to a concert would you try to kick out the musicians because "they just want to play music"? The church should be the place we hear about sin. If you do not think you are sick you won't go to a doctor. If you do not think you have sinned you don't need to go to church or read your Bible or look for a solution to a problem you do not know you have. So here D and I are reading/listening to some books/tapes by Ray Comfort and the topic - knowing you are a sinner. I was in the middle of reading "Christ Among Other gods" by Lutzer and got to the section about other religions and yep, whether or not they describe us as sinners. And I was listening to an old cassette tape from Miss Bertha about how we want to rank sins so that we don't have to face the ugliness of our own sins. (I think I'm getting a message here.)
Well, what is sin? Murder? yes... Adultery? yes... Drunkeness? yes
But what if I am "better" than these? What if I don't struggle with these? Aren't my "good" actions better than my bad ones? Nope. Never.
Because GOD is Holy. And HE abhores sin. Not just a little distaste, but absolute disgust and horror at even a sinful thought in our heads. That's why He doesn't forgive our sins. Yes, that's what I said - He doesn't forgive our sins. He looks on HIS righteous Son who paid the penalty for us and He sees HIM - not us. For years I thought I was a "forgiven sinner" but I'm not - I'm a dead sinner because sin always, always causes death. But I am a "Covered Sinner" - covered by the blood of the sinless Christ and when God looks at me he sees Him instead - the "propiation" for my sins. Not me forgiven. Christ's blood. I don't know about you but it's an amazing thought to me....

Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Gal. 5:19-21

For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. Titus 3:3

being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them. Romans 1:29-32

What is the same to GOD as murdering someone? How about coveting? being untrustworthy? undiscerning? unforgiving? approving of wickedness? whispering and backbiting? boasting? being proud/foolish/hateful?

Hmmmm... pretty much covers all of us doesn't it? Looking forward to learning more and leaning more (on Christ, His blood and the Holy Spirit!). Stay tuned as we study....

A Night Without Chickens

We really thought we would be home earlier. But, no worries, they would just go into the coop when it turned dark. When we had left to share dinner with out-of-town relatives earlier in the evening, we had left the puppy on the porch and the hens outside still "grazing". They always go back into the coop at dusk and then we close them up for the night and let the puppy run more before bedtime. Tonight we were late. It had been completely dark for over 2 hours when we got home to find out that somehow the doors to the coop were closed - both of them. The hens had left lots of "signs" just outside both doors to show us they had faithfully waited to get in. Now they were nowhere in sight. All eight - including the two chicks we had hatched ourselves - were gone. No sight of them and the only sound we could hear anywhere was the barking of a stray fox at the bottom of the pecan orchard. Ugghhh. Ugly visions ran through my head and ugly words spewed from my mouth. WHO did not make sure the doors were propped open? WHO didn't double-check? WHO did this??! My children cringed in fear of my rant. As I tucked them in shortly afterward, I was overcome with guilt and shame. WHO was me. They were children who had done what I told them earlier in the day - let out the chickens as always. WHO was me - that did not tell them to be sure the doors were propped. WHO was me - that did not double check. WHO was me visiting and forgetting my responsibilities at home until late into the evening. Second Uggghhh. Fortunately my children are better at one thing than I am - quickly and wholeheartedly forgiving. So we went to bed. But I didn't sleep well. It could have been the double espresso with dessert but it also was my guilt that kept me tossing and turning. First I felt guilty about getting so upset with my children and with what I imagined had probably already happened to the hens by now. (We could name our little plot "Fox and Hawk Hill" as it is very well populated that way!). Then my guilt shifted. Here I was tossing and turning over the fact that I had lost my cool - but my children and God had already forgiven me for it. I was guilty over what might have happened to the lost chickens - but I was helpless to do anything to change their fate. Then I really was convicted. Chickens will live a few years. They are God's creatures but they are just creatures that we try to care for. People live for eternity. In heaven or hell. And how many nights had I tossed and turned over the lost souls of my loved ones? How could I lose sleep over chickens and sleep soundly when there are those who are lost for all eternity?

My son had prayed, "God, keep the chickens safe but if they're not, we know you have a reason for them to be hurt. Maybe the fox was starving." Oh, the faith and trust of little ones!! The next morning they were all 8 on my side stoop perfectly safe. They've never been there before but it was as if God led them there waiting for us to rise and see. And I thought of how God desires ALL - from the oldest to youngest, fastest to slowest of us to be safe in HIS arms. And how HE wants us to trust Him whether things turn out like we want or not. But most of all I thought about God wants me to have a heart that is ready to lose sleep over the lost souls of men. Lord, help me to never forget the night without chickens.

Update on "Gardening Proverbs"

A friend asked me to re-post my "gardening proverbs". Since the Lord has continued to grow me through farming and gardening, I have added some new ones, too. Enjoy!!

Little weeds (sins) are easier than older, bigger ones but both need to be pulled out all the way to the roots.

Some weeds get so entwined with the flowers that you have to take extra time and care to gently pull them.

Nothing will grow without daily nourishment of food (God's word), water (God's Spirit) and nutrients (fellowship with others).

A flower bed of many varieties and colors is more beautiful than one of all the same flower (the church).

Flowers are faithful to follow the light - am I?

Some weeds pop up and seed out quickly, reeking havoc of all within a short while if not dealt with quickly.

Some trees grow slowly and are tender for a long time but produce amazing amounts of fruit later and longer.

Some plants are beautiful but do not have a sweet fragrance or produce fruit or seeds.

Seeds need lots of loving care to grow into production.

Only God can bring rain and sunshine, warmth and soil to the earth. Our imitations are never as good as the real thing.

It is not ours to choose which trees produce early and which late, which ones grow quickly or slowly, which ones are more hardy in drought or resistant to disease. It is ours to choose whether to water and nourish and care for all of them daily, carefully, lovingly, diligently and with hard work and sweat of brow.

We can complain about the weather or production or problems or we can praise the Lord for the harvest both now and to come.

During the early years the trees need to be staked and tied to a secure post.

Sometimes you have to dig out the old stump before you can plant a new tree.

Fruit is sweeter when it is watered with the sweat of your brow.

A Master Gardener can tell the difference between a weed and a flower. He will teach you to tell the difference, too, if you will listen.

Weeds grow best in flower beds.

Talking about gardening is easy. Chopping, hoeing, weeding, watering and tending to the garden in the heat and rain and wind and sun is hard work.

Some plots have better soil than others but with care each can produce something.

The sweetest melons and grapes are grown when they have been put under stress.

There is an amazing joy in sharing your seeds or young plants with someone who will grow them.

Hybrid plants do not produce viable seeds.

For best flowering, cut off the dead parts.

Everything needs pruning sometime.

Only a miracle can turn a weed into a fruit-bearing plant.

One thing

Not long ago several of us were talking about the "one thing" in life that is our dream, our goal, our priority. It's harder than you think to narrow it down to one thing. Two, three or ten things, yeah, no problem. But just one? I could be all spiritual and righteous sounding and say my one thing was to be closer to the Lord, or be His servant or do everything in His will and in a way that would be true - I do desire these things. Every day, though, I don't spend my time seeking these wonderful things and how we choose to spend (or not spend) our time is really where our heart lies. My mother-in-law often says "People can say what they want but what they choose to do really tells the story" and she's right. So honestly I can't say my one thing is any of the above, although I wish I could. And of course I could tell you my one thing was being a Godly, submissive, loving, wise wife but my husband could quickly unravel that myth. Since I spend lots and lots of time with my children you might think my one thing was being a great Mom. I do love my children and desire them to grow in the love and reverance of the Lord with a great deal of my heart but I am certainly not the Mom Timothy must have had. And although my desire is to see them walk with the Lord and use their lives fully for Him, I can only do my part as a parent in that and encourage them as they grow and make their own choices. So what is the "one thing" I dream about, spend my time on, desire? I have to say it is to try to learn in the many things how Christ must love us more than we can understand. In the tiny bluebirds learning to fly in the backyard, in the satisfaction of weeding a flower bed, in the joy of hearing my children talk about God's love, in the washing of dishes or any everyday tasks the one thing I desire is to see and understand Christ in all things. For only when I see HIM can I understand how badly I need Him, how far I am from who I think I am, how unbelievable His love is for me. To see Him in all things small and great, morning and night, day after day. That is my desire.

A New 9/11 Lesson - "Why didn't anybody tell them?"

A few days ago my seven year-old asked me "What's Flight 93?" He evidently had heard it mentioned on a news show the evening before and was curious. That led into a discussion about Sept. 11th, the courage of those on Flight 93, and I was a bit surprised at how much he knew. "Oh, like when those men crashed the planes into the twin Empire State buildings?" (Yes, we stopped and had a brief NYC geography and architectural lesson :) right then). As I explained a little (on what I thought was a 7 year-old level to be honest but not to scare him) he interrupted me with this question "How did they get on the planes to hijack them if they weren't Americans?" Hmmm...short answer to him, "Well, they were living in America as visitors". Then he looked at me with very wide, serious, tear-filled eyes and asked, "Then why didn't anybody tell them, Mommy?" I saw his heart breaking and being puzzled I said, "Tell them what, honey?" "Tell them that they didn't need to kill people to get to heaven, that they could go there because Jesus loves them like he loves us." Ohhhhhh...... out of the mouths of babes! May I never forget the earnest heart break that he felt because "nobody" had told them. May I always remember that I can be that "nobody" if I let opportunities to share the love of Jesus slip away. May I never forget Sept. 11th and may I never forget the need for Christ, not condemnation, in every life.
How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!" -Romans 10:14-15

Lessons Learned

For several Sundays we were so very blessed by great messages both in Sunday School and worship, which were really centered around not being "self righteous" but always relying solely on the cross of Christ for our actions and motivations. I'd love to tell you everything I learned and was convicted about, but I doubt if anyone would read all of it. Here's the "facebook status" version :)

Am I doing works for my own sake or truly for the glory of Christ?
Test 1 - Fellowship - do I only hang out with/be friendly with/pray for/etc. only those who look, talk, think the same as me? Am I embarrassed or judgmental when others who are different enter the church, my neighborhood, etc.? See Gal. 3:27-29; Matt. 9:9-13
Test 2 - Criticism/Disagreement - How do I react when others disagree with my beliefs, my actions, my "religious activities"? Do I take it personally or just long for them to know the redeeming hope and love of the Savior? do I feel like it's an affront to me or do I simply, lovingly ache for them to know the peace and salvation that Christ alone can give and give to anyone anywhere at any time? Gal. 3:25; Matt. 9:35-38
Test 3 - Test of Omission - Do I feel guilty/less of a Christian if I fail to do a certain task, ritual, etc.? Of course we suffer in our walk and growth if we don't pray or study the Bible, but do we do it to feel better about ourselves rather than do it to learn more of Christ Himself? Gal. 6:14

Oh, the depth of self-righteousness -
but praise GOD!!
HIS love and HIS sacrifice are even deeper!!
How do I know? Just look at the cross.......