Monday morning we got word that another cousin had committed suicide. He was very young, early 20s, and seemed to have "everything" going for him - good job, stable family, nice girlfriend, new car....everything a young 20s American Male could want, right? Did anyone on Sunday morning know that before midnight that night that young man would be coming face-to-face with eternity? Of course not. In fact, they are now saying it might not have been suicide, but an accident. The family is still in shock and cannot process what has happened. It will be a long time before the reality of it sinks it for anyone. Just as we began the day normally May 8, 2008, not having any idea that by 10pm our sweet 18 year-old niece would be a victim of an accident and all our lives would be forever changed, marking her birthdays and holidays with a very vibrant piece of the family fabric torn away.
So why am I sharing all this on a blog? To depress you? No, quite the opposite. To warn you, give you a reason for joy and laughter today and a hope for tomorrow. Each day, each minute, is a gift from God. He seems to be trying to teach me this over and over lately. Just as I have been convicted of poor stewardship of money, and not using it always for HIS Kingdom, I am now convicted of my poor stewardship of time. No one knows how many days, weeks, years, or
minutes we have left on earth. Yes, there are some that know they are quite close to death because of age or health, but we often forget that each of us is only one breath away from judgment - and eternal joy or eternal pain. We don't like to talk about it because we don't like to admit the reality of it.
So, how do I use my time - whatever it might be - in a responsible, "stewardship" way and not in selfish pursuits? Many of us have convinced ourselves that days spent caring for others is a good use of time. But is it the
best use? What I mean is, are you doing it for self righteous reasons or to further God's Kingdom? Are you begrudgingly caring for your children, parents, in-laws, neighbors, friends, or is it out of joy and love from Christ flowing through you? I am not asking you in condemnation, but rather in conviction of how far short I am of doing this on a daily basis. This week I spent pretty much of my time "serving" others - cooking, laundry, cleaning, babysitting, teaching school, grading papers, sitting in doctor's offices, driving people around, etc. But honestly I have been a true and faithful and loving servant very little of that time. Most of it was done from routine, obligation, habit, etc., telling myself that it was singing praise for God's glory and Kingdom, but my attitude, and lack of grasping opportunities to interact and share love and hope with even strangers as well as my own, plays a different tune. The things I spent time on were worthy things, things that can or could have glorified God, but I must always make sure that they are done for the right motive and with the right attitude. That requires continuous submission to the my Savior, continuous, deliberate willingness to go and do not only WHAT He calls me to do, but harder still, HOW He calls me to do it - in pure, unselfish, His-righteousness-only kind of love.
On Monday we received our copy of a book entitled "More Than "I" Can Handle" by a sweet Christian "sistah" of mine (love being called that and calling her that!) who has been challenged by the Lord in many ways to turn ALL of her life - body, soul, finances, spirit and TIME - over to the Lord and HIS work. I laughed and cried with her as she recounted the journey their family has made to date, the struggles and joys of following the Lord's plan no matter how "crazy" others may see it (don't you know Noah was mocked and called "crazy" as he spent his time hand-building an ark the size of a small stadium?!). Read
her story and be blessed - and convicted - by how she, Jerry and their family spend their time and energy. I was reminded again of why God calls us to love on the fatherless, the widow, the poor and downtrodden. This requires a love that we know cannot be for self, cannot be because we expect "repayment" from them.
Today - right this minute - I will once again turn my time over to the Lord. I will ask HIM to keep me conscious of this precious treasure we call time. We might not be able to save it in a bottle, we might not know if this is our last day on earth, or the last day for a loved one or the stranger we meet in the store, but we can certainly spend every precious drop of time for eternity instead of on worldly, selfish pursuits.
"For what shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul?" Mark 8:36
