Where do I begin to tell of what God has been teaching me lately? I think it begins with a question for all of us - what do I cling to? Let me think honestly, genuinely, what I have clung to over the years - money, home, job, dreams of a future where everyone lives "happily ever after", praise of others, spouse, children, physical looks, mental abilities, health, ......... And what has happened in the past few years? Many of us have been forced to come face to face with the insufficiency of these things. Parents have died, even some of my loved ones have lost children to physical death, spouses have left the home, many have lost jobs and homes and the self-esteem tied to them, savings and "security". Others have faced very difficult losses of health, broken engagements, broken church bodies, broken promises, broken hopes and dreams. So where is God in all of this? Everywhere I look either a friend, relative or I personally am experiencing pain and loss in each of these things. And do you know what? I can see God's love and hand clearer now than ever before. Because the love of God shines brightest when we hurt, if we will but take our eyes off ourselves or our precious "treasures". We give ourselves more fully to the One in charge when we finally face the fact that we are not in charge! Oh, what joy and peace comes with the pain of purging our tight grip on our "treasures"! Oh, how we can love on each other during hard times when we know Who is standing at the door of our hearts with the tissues and bandaids that will comfort those broken pieces left of our lives. Easy? Oh, no! My flesh and selfish ways want to scream at God that He does not need to allow these things. But without them so many of us would go on blindly and stubbornly stumbling through the world thinking it was all in our control. Thank you, Lord that it is not! When you cannot see God for the tears in your soul, feel Him in your heart. He is faithful. Always. Always.
"Death -
Death can be faced,
dealt with,
adjusted to,
outlived.
It's the
not knowing
that destroys
interminably...
This
being suspended
in suspense;
waiting - weightless,
How does one face
the faceless,
adjust to nothing?
Waiting implies
something to wait for.
Is there?
There is One.
One who knows...
I rest my soul on that."
— Ruth Bell Graham
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Books (of course!)
Well, it has been some time since I posted about my third favorite topic - boo
ks. (Want to know the first and second favorites? Try to guess!). The summer generally means more reading for most folks, but since we spend so much time on the farm, in the yard, outside, etc. it actually means less reading for me, at least. Emma Kate did get quite a bit of reading, carrying a book with her when we went to the dentist, grocery, or pool. Every spare minute was a minute for her to read (wonder where she got that desire from ??!!). If you are interested, her books included The Hobbit, The Fellowship of the Ring, Perelandra, Out of the Silent Planet, Adventures of Northwoods (series), Viking Quest series (books 1-3),
Ethan has not jumped into individual reading very enthusiastically yet. He spent lots of hours reading/browsing nonfiction books, mostly about Motorcycles and Dirt Bikes, Star Wars, Legos and the history of guns and airplanes, but hopefully by next summer he will be into reading more on his own. He did read some Three Cousin Detective books, Frog and Toad series (for the umpteenth time), and some Matt Christopher fiction (that had motorcycles or dirt bikes in the action!).
For the beginning of school, Emma is reading Eagle of the Ninth, Ethan has read Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, and this week we have read Beowulf together (abridged version of course!). Next week we will be reading Augustine Came to Kent together aloud at lunch, and Emma will begin Otto of the Silver Hand.
But th
e most exciting news for me personally is that I am reading several wonderful books. I have another copy of Bertha Smith's Our Lost World (from Amazon for 99c and it was signed by her - very precious to me!) which I am rereading along with the book Back to Jerusalem by Paul Hattaway. I will definitely be writing a blog soon about how these two books, written 30 years apart, show that God's plan and timing are so perfect and so beyond our limited understanding, and yet He allows us to glimpse His compassion and love for each and every person in every nation if we will just open our heart to His. For devotional thought I am reading Ruth Bell Graham's book about Prodigals. Very heartening! We are still reading together through the Bible using the McCheyne Reading Plan
May the Lord bless the words we read to open our minds to His amazing glory and wisdom!
ks. (Want to know the first and second favorites? Try to guess!). The summer generally means more reading for most folks, but since we spend so much time on the farm, in the yard, outside, etc. it actually means less reading for me, at least. Emma Kate did get quite a bit of reading, carrying a book with her when we went to the dentist, grocery, or pool. Every spare minute was a minute for her to read (wonder where she got that desire from ??!!). If you are interested, her books included The Hobbit, The Fellowship of the Ring, Perelandra, Out of the Silent Planet, Adventures of Northwoods (series), Viking Quest series (books 1-3),
Ethan has not jumped into individual reading very enthusiastically yet. He spent lots of hours reading/browsing nonfiction books, mostly about Motorcycles and Dirt Bikes, Star Wars, Legos and the history of guns and airplanes, but hopefully by next summer he will be into reading more on his own. He did read some Three Cousin Detective books, Frog and Toad series (for the umpteenth time), and some Matt Christopher fiction (that had motorcycles or dirt bikes in the action!).
For the beginning of school, Emma is reading Eagle of the Ninth, Ethan has read Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, and this week we have read Beowulf together (abridged version of course!). Next week we will be reading Augustine Came to Kent together aloud at lunch, and Emma will begin Otto of the Silver Hand.
But th
e most exciting news for me personally is that I am reading several wonderful books. I have another copy of Bertha Smith's Our Lost World (from Amazon for 99c and it was signed by her - very precious to me!) which I am rereading along with the book Back to Jerusalem by Paul Hattaway. I will definitely be writing a blog soon about how these two books, written 30 years apart, show that God's plan and timing are so perfect and so beyond our limited understanding, and yet He allows us to glimpse His compassion and love for each and every person in every nation if we will just open our heart to His. For devotional thought I am reading Ruth Bell Graham's book about Prodigals. Very heartening! We are still reading together through the Bible using the McCheyne Reading Plan
May the Lord bless the words we read to open our minds to His amazing glory and wisdom!
Monday, June 27, 2011
In the heat and drought....
Less than 1/2 inch of rain during the past forty days has meant many, many hours filling the tank, driving the tractor and watering trees. Some days I think I go to bed counting slowly to 30 in my head with my arms aching from aiming the fireman's hose to/from each tree while turning the hard steering wheel of the tractor. I just want it to rain. No, that's not true - I just want it to rain without hard winds and slowly soak in overnight with a slow, steady rain. Picky, huh?!
But with all this hot, dry weather I can't help but meditate on the "living water" and "never thirst again". When I have plenty to drink I honestly don't think about water. When it rains abundantly, I take it for granted. Only when I am hot and thirsty do I realize the amazing qualities of water. Only when it is dry
and my throat is parched do I long for a cool drink. Recently I have had a drought in my spiritual life as well as on the farm. The living water is there, waiting, and I have chosen to get dry and thirsty. The Word of the Lord has been left stagnant too often and my heart has been drying up. I could chose not to water the pecan trees and watch them dry up quickly and die. What a foolish waste that would be. But how even more foolish a waste it is to let my spiritual growth wither up for the lack of quiet reflection on God's Word. The spring is flowing. Lord, help me to choose to drink from your well of living water. Help me not just to survive, but to grow and thrive so that your fruit will blossom for others. Make me aware of my thirst and feed me your water every moment of every day. Thank you, Lord, for the wonder of physical water and the satisfaction of living water. Let it flow!
But with all this hot, dry weather I can't help but meditate on the "living water" and "never thirst again". When I have plenty to drink I honestly don't think about water. When it rains abundantly, I take it for granted. Only when I am hot and thirsty do I realize the amazing qualities of water. Only when it is dry
and my throat is parched do I long for a cool drink. Recently I have had a drought in my spiritual life as well as on the farm. The living water is there, waiting, and I have chosen to get dry and thirsty. The Word of the Lord has been left stagnant too often and my heart has been drying up. I could chose not to water the pecan trees and watch them dry up quickly and die. What a foolish waste that would be. But how even more foolish a waste it is to let my spiritual growth wither up for the lack of quiet reflection on God's Word. The spring is flowing. Lord, help me to choose to drink from your well of living water. Help me not just to survive, but to grow and thrive so that your fruit will blossom for others. Make me aware of my thirst and feed me your water every moment of every day. Thank you, Lord, for the wonder of physical water and the satisfaction of living water. Let it flow!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Last Year's Weeds
This is the time of year that we attempt to "stay ahead" of all of the spring and summer weeds. OK, usually it's like a race comparable to "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" but not nearly as funny. One thing we have had to deal with this spring is the fact that we had a very nice, somewhat wet, fall. This means that just before frost last year we had a lot of new weeds take root. No problem, it frosted shortly after, right? Well, this spring that 
has meant two problems. One, more weed seeds just itching to sprout exactly where we don't want them, and two, a matting of old, dead weeds that block the herbicide from getting soaked into the waiting seeds. So what does this have to do with you and anything you would even vaguely be interested in? Sin. Yep. We just cannot get away from the analogy between weeds and sin. Check out Genesis Chapter 3. So as I try to remove the dead weeds, spray for new weeds and determine which can be pulled without damaging the trees' roots (i.e. have shallow roots themselves), I think on my "old mistakes" (aka sins), "new wrong desires" (aka sins), and "bad habits" (aka sins). What a mess! But Jesus is better than Roundup, so I rejoice!! And as I hoe and pull at those weeds, I rejoice even more. For without those horrible weeds I would easily forget how bad the "weeds" are in my own life.
has meant two problems. One, more weed seeds just itching to sprout exactly where we don't want them, and two, a matting of old, dead weeds that block the herbicide from getting soaked into the waiting seeds. So what does this have to do with you and anything you would even vaguely be interested in? Sin. Yep. We just cannot get away from the analogy between weeds and sin. Check out Genesis Chapter 3. So as I try to remove the dead weeds, spray for new weeds and determine which can be pulled without damaging the trees' roots (i.e. have shallow roots themselves), I think on my "old mistakes" (aka sins), "new wrong desires" (aka sins), and "bad habits" (aka sins). What a mess! But Jesus is better than Roundup, so I rejoice!! And as I hoe and pull at those weeds, I rejoice even more. For without those horrible weeds I would easily forget how bad the "weeds" are in my own life.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Sucker!!
There is hardly a day that goes by that I do not learn (or usually relearn since I am so poor at actually exercising my attitude and actions to use what I have learned) a lesson from the farm. This morning I was removing suckers from the lower trunks/limbs of the pecan trees. It is frustrating 
to see all of that new growth and energy being spent on suckers instead of being routed to the growth of the tree and its fruiting capabilities. Hmmmmm...... yep, I let too many little "distracting suckers" (wrong attentions) sap my strength from eternal fruits. I think that I should get a picture of these suckers and paste on my calendar. Just as a reminder of what is really important.
to see all of that new growth and energy being spent on suckers instead of being routed to the growth of the tree and its fruiting capabilities. Hmmmmm...... yep, I let too many little "distracting suckers" (wrong attentions) sap my strength from eternal fruits. I think that I should get a picture of these suckers and paste on my calendar. Just as a reminder of what is really important.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Good Friday Thoughts
Science can give us a feeling
of being smart.
Politics and fame can give us
a sense of importance.
Religion can make us believe
that we are actually good.
But when we look at the Messiah
hanging on a cross, beaten and bleeding
and
breathing His last for our sin;
when we truly look at who He is
and what He has done,
we look at the Truth.
We are but foolish vapors
who are deceitful and selfish
in everything we do.
And yet He did this for us anyway.
The sinless Christ knows what we truly are
and yet He still chose to endure
that agony for us.
When I see Him through His Word,
I can see nothing of value in myself
for Him to love.
But He does.
of being smart.
Politics and fame can give us
a sense of importance.
Religion can make us believe
that we are actually good.
But when we look at the Messiah
hanging on a cross, beaten and bleeding
and
breathing His last for our sin;when we truly look at who He is
and what He has done,
we look at the Truth.
We are but foolish vapors
who are deceitful and selfish
in everything we do.
And yet He did this for us anyway.
The sinless Christ knows what we truly are
and yet He still chose to endure
that agony for us.
When I see Him through His Word,
I can see nothing of value in myself
for Him to love.
But He does.
Amazing mercy...
grace indescribable...
love beyond words.......
Let me never take my eyes off the One who hung on that cross.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Uncomprehensible
When I am in heaven,
Looking on Your Holy Face,
Will I be able to understand
The depth of your great grace?
When we bow before you
Seated on your holy throne
Will I comprehend
Why you chose me as your own?
When my eyes behold your glory
In its fullness and unveiled,
Can my heart perceive it
And not fully melt?
As we sing "Hosanna,
Worthy is the Lamb"
Can my voice join in
Without choking as I am?
In this world of sin
Even when we really try
We can't comprehend
How You must be up on high.
Tiny little glimpses
Like snowflakes in the spring
Are the only visions
Of your glory we can see.
Oh, how overwhelming
Is your sacrifice and love
For this vilest sinner
You chose to be with you above.
Help to dim my senses
To this world below
Seeing more of your sweet face
And your grace that overflows.
Looking on Your Holy Face,
Will I be able to understand
The depth of your great grace?
When we bow before you
Seated on your holy throne
Will I comprehend
Why you chose me as your own?
When my eyes behold your glory
In its fullness and unveiled,
Can my heart perceive it
And not fully melt?
As we sing "Hosanna,
Worthy is the Lamb"
Can my voice join in
Without choking as I am?
In this world of sin
Even when we really try
We can't comprehend
How You must be up on high.
Tiny little glimpses
Like snowflakes in the spring
Are the only visions
Of your glory we can see.
Oh, how overwhelming
Is your sacrifice and love
For this vilest sinner
You chose to be with you above.
Help to dim my senses
To this world below
Seeing more of your sweet face
And your grace that overflows.
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